A Voice Inside my Head
by Sophie Flamel
Summary: Dipper Pines is experiencing his first time apart from Mabel: college. A different and challenging experience in and of itself, college for Dipper seems to be the adventure he was waiting for. Life has returned to normal after his first summer in Gravity Falls, and he again longed for the unknown. But this new experience might bring more than bargained for.
1. Ah, College!

Ah, college. Time for studying, having fun and owing a huge debt. Dipper Pines had arrived at the bus station earlier this afternoon, and the heavy city atmosphere was already weighing on him. He had dragged his suitcase around until he caught the first glimpse of the prestigious buildings where he was going to spend the new few years. He was now gazing, mouth agape with wonder, slowly shifting his view from left to right; trying to take it all in. This was his first time away from home without Mabel, he better not screw that up.

Continuing his path, he found a tent for newcomers installed on the lawn.

"Hi!" enthusiastically shouted a brunet. "How can we help you?" He looked a few years older than Dipper and looked happy to see all the new faces.

"Hi, I was just looking around campus before moving in." said Dipper.

"Cool. How do you like it?" said the guy.

"It's nice I guess. And I'm not saying that because my dad made a huge donation to the main building, I genuinely find it pretty cool."

"Wait, so you're one of those kids that gets in easy because your dad's got 'connections'?" asked another brunette who was previously handing out maps to newcomers.

"I wouldn't say I got in easy, but it sure made a difference in the bill I have to pay." Said Dipper. _Great, now they all think I'm some kind of rich kid._

"You lucky bastard! If you want some advice, don't go shouting it around, it won't make you many friends." Said the brunette.

"Will do." Replied Dipper.

"So do need any help ?" asked the brunet.

"Not really. I guess I'm just going to walk around a bit. Thanks anyway." He said awkwardly, before walking away. _That was a wrong step in the whole 'new place, new me' kind of deal._

Dipper then wandered off to get a good mental map of the campus. Light was beginning to drop and he figured he might as well go home. Since he didn't pay nearly as much in tuition as other students, his father had invested in a nice little apartment not far from campus, with Dipper's advice of course. It took him 15 minutes of dragging his overweight suitcase through the streets to get to it. The building was rather bland, with no real feeling attached to it. He took the elevator to his place, and opened the door to the musty dark apartment. The sunset light filtering through the blinds painted the walls a bloodied red.

Dipper stepped in and breathed his first gulp of freedom. He was finally alone with no one to dictate his movements. And it already felt overwhelming, like the first day of summer vacation where the endless possibilities of what could happen hit you and you are lost in a sea of ideas. Dipper pushed his suitcase into his room and opened the blinds. His father and himself had installed the furniture just a few days after visiting the place. They had only bothered with the bare minimum, but even with just a couch, a table, a bed and a few chairs; Dipper felt at home. He went to the kitchen and opened the fridge out of habit. It was empty, of course, and this sent a reminder to his hungry stomach. Dipper closed the fridge and decided to look for a place to eat.

He traced back his footsteps towards the campus. The city lights were faintly glowing in the dusk. A Subway insignia caught his eyes and he crossed the road over to it. He could find a finer restaurant later on. Entering the fast food, he noticed it was nearly empty save for the big group of young adults ( _probably students_ ) chatting rapidly in a corner. He ordered a sandwich and took this opportunity to ask the young man on the other side of the counter why the place was deserted.

"Ah, you must be a newbie here. We don't get many costumers before school starts. Most people who live around here are students and they don't come here in the summer. Looks like we're soon going to be back in business though." He added, pointing to the group that was now chanting something.

He handed Dipper his sandwich, and the brunet paid. He took a seat not too far from the group and tried to listen to what they were saying. They seemed to be cheering some guy that was eating one of the biggest sandwiches Dipper had ever seen. Maybe this was some kind of stupid contest. Though he was not really interested in what they were doing, the gleeful vibe that emanated from the group was still influencing him enough to get a small smile out of him. He knew none of those people and was at least two states away from anyone he knew; but Dipper felt like he belonged.

He was finishing his pizza when the group left. One of the girls was a bit behind, fumbling through her purse as if looking for something. She yelled for her friends to wait for her and only got laughter in return. She finally rose from her seat and seemed to rush to the group that was waiting outside, probably deciding where to go next. As she passed Dipper, she glanced at him and said "Hi, are you new here?"

Caught off guard, Dipper replied with a "yes" before swallowing his food as fast and as graciously as he could.

"I hope you like it here! You'll see it's a lot of fun." She said as someone outside shouted at her to 'hurry the fuck up'. "I'll see you around I guess." Added the girl, before joining her group outside and leaving with them. _Well that was a bit unexpected_.

Dipper finished his diner and decided to head up home. _Home, what a strange thing to call this place I still haven't slept in._ He unpacked the bare necessities from his suitcase and changed into his pajamas. He didn't feel tired so he turned on his computer and played some video games. The sky was a deep blue outside his window, stars outshone by the bright city lights. A few car honks and noisy accelerations disturbed the otherwise rather silent night. Around midnight, Dipper decided it was time to hit the hay, and he turned off his computer in order to get to bed.

After one last visit to the bathroom, he was laying eyes open beneath the brand new sheets of his bed. Everything felt so surreal and yet was part of a routine he had executed for years now. He thought about his family for a short second, before realizing that it was still too soon to think about the warmth of people who loved him. He didn't regret his decision, not one bit; but after living with a twin for eighteen years, being alone felt like a shock to him.

Curling into a more fetal position, Dipper closed his eyes and imagined what would happen in the next few years. All the new experiences he would have. Soon, sleepiness overcame him slowly as he thought about the adventure he was going to have.

 **That looks like fun**. Dipper opened his eyes for a short second, trying to figure out who had just spoken. The words still rang inside his head, but he wasn't sure if he was the one who thought it. Calming down and closing his eyes once more, he decided to dismiss it as one of those thoughts you don't control and drifted into sleep.


	2. First Day

"Hey, can you hear me bro-bro?"

"I can hear you fine Mabel." Dipper shifted into a more comfortable position in his bed. "As well as the music in the background." He added with a sigh. Mabel turned said music off ( _or maybe it was just lower_ ), and brought her two fists under her chin.

"So, how was your first day of college?" she asked.

"I don't know what to make of it yet. It was both exactly like I expected and completely different!" said Dipper.

"Mine was exactly like I expected, but better! I met this cute guy and got his number, I drew some stuff. And I already have like five friends! There's Cheryl, Sabrina, Carlee, June and Jennifer. They're pretty awesome. I hope you can see them when you come visit!" said Mabel.

"Whoa, hang on a second. I haven't been to all my classes yet and I barely got a taste of how much it will take me to accommodate; I can't begin to think about visiting you." Said Dipper.

"But you're my brother, you have to visit me! It's not like you have anywhere else to go."

"We could both go home? Anyway, we've only just started classes; it's no use planning things for when they end."

"You still got to visit me Dip. But you're not getting out of this conversation this easily." Mabel looked over her shoulder as another person, _probably her room-mate_ , walked across her open doorway. "So, did you make any new friends today?" she said, returning her attention to the screen.

"I met this guy in my biology class, Max. He seemed nice. He helped me get a notion when I apparently looked 'very confused', or so he said. Biology was harder than I expected though."

"I know! You think you get what they're talking about and all of a sudden, they speak another language. It's like Math, but worse! And then you finally get it, and it's like an angel comes down from heaven to show you the way. College is way more spiritual than I expected." The twins laughed. "But I'm still super happy to learn about art and animation! All my classes are like Arts and Craft; expect for those required ones where it's just some boring old dude mumbling about serious stuff. I don't even think you could pay attention to that for more than two minutes!"

"Hey, don't sell me so short! I can focus on boring lectures." Dipper said. "But today was far from boring! There was this old guy from NASA talking about the stars and how their composition affects their rotation and air and-"

"Nerd bla bla NASA blab bla bla stars bla bla- that's you, that's how you talk." Mabel complained.

"Maybe you shouldn't have asked if you didn't want to know. Anyway, I went to other classes and everyone was either super into it and taking a bunch or notes, or just doing other stuff at the same time. It's so different from High School."

"You can say that again! There was this girl in front of me in Civics who was just on Facebook chatting with her friends. I mean, if you don't want to listen to the lecture this bad, why even come? Because it's not like they force us or something."

"I know, it's like people feel they're not wasting their time because they at least physically move to the lecture. " Dipper paused. "That can't be it, people aren't this dumb."

"Don't sweat it bro-bro. Whatever reason these people have, they can keep it to themselves! I am going to attend all my lectures!" she victoriously punched her fist through the air. "Unless I'm sick, of course." She added. Dipper laughed in the background.

"I'll do my best to stick to that as well, but I don't know if that will be possible. The temptation of staying in bed or just doing more enjoyable things might outweigh the benefit of going to English Lit."

"I believe in you Dipper."

"Thanks Mabel. By the way, I need your advice on something. I met this girl in class today, and she's a sophomore."

"Oo, Dipper has a crush." Mabel said in a sing-song tone.

"No I don't." Dipper replied, blushing. "And it's not why I told you about her. She invited me to a party on Friday, to celebrate the beginning of the year. Do I go?"

"Oh my god, Dipper has a party! You have to go!"

"Even if there will be no one I know? Not mentioning a lot of alcohol?"

"Just bring someone you know if it scares you that much, but it's good for you. As for the alcohol, well promise me you won't drink too much."

"I don't know, I don't really have any friends yet, and I don't know if I want to be inebriated in front of people I don't know." Dipper rubbed his upper left arm with his right hand, looking down into his elbow.

"Bro, I know it can be scary to do things you've never done before; but that's what college is about! Besides, you're probably not going to see those people ever again, or remember their names." It seemed Mabel was speaking from experience, though the only parties Dipper had seen her attend were slumber parties.

"Did you go to a party already?" Dipper asked, dubious.

"I guess the cat is out of the bag." Mabel illustrated her words with movements, as well as a surprised expression. "My room-mate had one just one day after I got here, and I had to go, Dipper. It was so much fun!"

"But you got there three days ago! You didn't do anything irresponsible, did you?" Dipper asked with the slightest hint of worry.

"Don't you worry. I only drank a little bit and mostly danced. A lot. It was super fun, so I think you should really go to your party." Mabel looked at her wrist watch. "Look, I have to call Stan in five minutes. I'll let you do it next time, okay."

"Okay. See you soon."

"Bye." The video feed turned to black and Dipper exited Skype. He had almost forgotten about their weekly chat with their great uncle. Ever since Ford's death last year, he had become quite depressed and lonely. The twins called him as much as they could to keep him company, but it was just not the same as being physically there. Their great uncle's death had been a hard moment for all of them; but it took its greatest toll on their Grunkle Stan, as they continued to call him; even all those years after their initial summer in Gravity Falls.

Dipper stood up to stretch his muscles, and reached for his phone on his desk. He opened a new message to Brenda and sent "Hey, I think I might make it to the party on Friday. Mind if I bring a friend?" Now all her had to do was find someone to accompany him. _This shouldn't be too hard_.

 **That's what you think, kid**. There it was again. It sounded similar to his thoughts, but Dipper felt pretty sure this time it didn't come from him _. Are you inside my head_ , he asked in thought. At the lack of answer, Dipper just shrugged. _I'm finally going crazy_.

He opened a new message, this time to Max, and asked him about the party on Friday. All he had to do now was wait for answers.


	3. College Parties

Dipper took one last look at the bathroom mirror before answering his phone.

"Hey man, what's taking you so long?" Max asked on the other end of the line.

"I'm having second thoughts about wearing this shirt. Guess I don't have any more time though. Are you already there?"

"Yeah man, I'm waiting for you where you told me to. Better not ditch me."

"Don't worry, I'll be there in a few." Dipper grabbed his wallet, checked his outfit once more in the mirror and went out the door. "I'm leaving right now. See you soon!" he added, locking the door.

"Fine." Max said with an exasperated tone. He had agreed to come to the party with Dipper mostly because he wanted to meet some people. He didn't want it to turn into a babysitting.

Dipper glanced at his watch and saw that he was indeed pretty late. This was his first party and not only was he not confident about his fashion choice; he was also going to get there after everyone else. **But the party only gets good a few hours after it starts.** _How would you know?_ Dipper realized a second too late he was trying to have a conversation with his own mind, which on top of it wasn't answering him. _Great, now this again._

He ran down the stairs and unto the street, sweat beginning to form on his recently washed forehead. Picking up a more calm yet rushed pace, Dipper began to walk. He had memorized the itinerary indicated by his phone and he knew it would take him about seven minutes to get there. Thankfully, it was pretty close to the campus itself, so Dipper didn't have to use any public transportation. Ever since the giant Gideon robot had attacked his and Mabel's bus home; he had a quiet fear of accidents on buses. So he usually preferred to walk, or bike to his destination.

Max was slowly losing his patience. He was stationed exactly one block away from the party, as decided by Dipper and him; and people were giving him strange looks. _Dipper was still nowhere to be found and if he did not show up soon, the authorities would categorize him as a homeless guy_ , he thought. Soon enough, he spotted Dipper crossing the street in front of him.

"That took you long enough!" he shouted when Dipper was within earshot, raising his arms to emphasize his irritability.

"I know, I'm sorry." Dipper replied. "At least I'm here now. Let's go."

They walked the remaining block together. Dipper could feel his guts intertwine with stress, though he reasoned himself this would be fun. They finally got there and knocked on the door. It was getting dark but the sound escaping from the building didn't seem very loud. Thankfully, Brenda opened the door a few seconds later , a red cup in her hand and a smile on her face.

"Dipper, you made it!" she exclaimed, and then added" Who's your friend?"

"This is Max." Dipper said, Max waving a small 'hello'.

"Welcome to your first ever college party. Things are just getting started; you guys want to play a game?"

The two guys nodded and followed Brenda into the house. About a dozen people seemed to populate what looked like the living room. A table was set in the middle, with a few dozen red cups on top of it. Some faint music was playing in the background, and bottles layered the kitchen counter, all still pretty full.

"Alright, who wants to play Flip Cup?" Brenda asked around. A few people showed enthusiasm for it and gathered around the table. Dipper and Max followed suit and stood on the side.

"So, for you newbies, the rules are simple. Everyone has a cup filled with beer in front of them. You drink it as fast as you can, and then you try to flip the cup like this." Brenda took an empty cup and balanced it on the edge of the table. With two fingers, she pushed the cup into a summersault, and the cup landed on the table on its side. "What you want is the cup to land on its top part. You have to keep trying until you get it there. Then the person next in line has to do the same thing until the end of the table. You got it?" The freshmen nodded.

Brenda pulled out a carton of beer bottles from under the table, and with the help of another guy, filled a dozen of cups halfway. They then separated into equal teams on both side of the table, each person with a cup in front of them. Dipper didn't know what to make of this game yet, the concept seemed pretty simple. The only thing that scared him was the beer itself. Sure he had tasted beer before, but never did he try to chug it.

He didn't have time to think about this too long however, as the older students started to chant something about 'flip cup'; which was a strange way to start a game. When the song was over, the first people in the line began to drink. When came Dipper's turn, he grabbed his cup and drank it as fast as he could. The taste wasn't terrible, but it was too much liquid to take in one breath. He finished just a bit later than the girl in front of him, and positioned the cup in order to flip it. It took him five tries, but he got it to work and was met with cheers from his team.

His team didn't win in the end, but the game was still fun. Dipper played a few more games until his vision began to feel a bit hazy. He decided to take some water from the sink to clear it up. He bumped into someone on his way there, and mumbled a 'sorry'. A hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him around. In front of him was a girl he had never met. She had short black hair and button nose.

"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.

"I'm fine." Dipper tried to articulate. "I'm going to get some water."

"Smart idea." She switched back her focus unto her friends and Dipper made his way into the kitchen. He didn't know when the place got suddenly crowded, but the atmosphere was heavy with sweat and alcohol. He had lost Max a while ago and had found himself talking to strangers without bothering to get their names. Taking one long gulp from his cup, he scanned the room for Max. He found him standing near an open doorway, making out with some blond guy. _Good for him_. He saw the girl who had talked to him earlier glance at him from time to time. Finishing his cup and filling it again, he made his way towards her.

"Hey, sorry I scared you. This is my first college party. "he said to her.

"I figured as much. I remember my first party. I must have been drunker than you, because all I remember is some girl holding my hair while I puked. We became best friends after that." She chuckled, Dipper joining in. "I'm Emily, by the way."

"Dipper."

"That's an unusual name. Did your parents run out of names or something?" Emily asked.

"It's a nickname my sister gave me." Dipper said.

They continued to talk about the party and themselves. Emily was a sophomore, studying anthropology. She had a pretty laugh and beautiful hazel eyes. They exchanged phone numbers to stay in contact. When the party started to die down, she left with her friends and Dipper went to look for Max. He found him sitting in a corner, staring at the wall in front of him.

"You okay man?' he asked.

"Yeah, just sobering up and realizing all the shit I've done." He stood up slowly. "So many regrets."

Dipper felt like mentioning the guy he had seen him kiss, but decided against it. Together they thanked Brenda for the invite and left. Looking at his watch, Dipper saw it was already way past midnight. They walked back to campus together and went their separate ways after that, Dipper making sure Max was sober enough to walk himself home.

A few minutes later, Dipper turned the door open to his apartment and rushed to his bed, only taking the time to take off his shoes. Tired was a euphemism for what he felt as he fell unto his bed and went to sleep within minutes. _Well that was fun_.

 **It could have been better**.


	4. The Voice

Sorry I took so long to actually update this. I have been hit with writer's block and was also really busy in the last few weeks. Another chapter in the making.

Waking up the next morning wasn't the hard part. Moving, however, was a pain. Dipper knew about hangovers, but it did not prepare him for this. Taking a painkiller, he tried to get some breakfast down his throat. He only managed a small piece of bread along with a lot of water. Thankfully, he did not have any work for the weekend and decided it would be a good time to just relax.

Monday came around, and Dipper was energized again by the excitement of his new classes. He met some new friends, had a video chat with his parents; and unfortunately his first load of homework as well. He started it that night, determined to get a good grade and a handle on the concepts the work dealt with.

Tuesday, he saw Max again. Neither of them talked about Max's kiss; but rather complained about how horrible hangovers were. The voice in Dipper's head commented: **Haha, you're too weak to deal with hangovers!** Dipper ignored it for the time being, knowing it would probably speak up again soon anyway.

And the voice did not make him wait. The very next day, as Dipper was starting to doze off during a particularly long and boring lecture; it said: **I thought you said you could focus during boring lectures.** _I can, this one has just been going on for an hour now; and the professor isn't great,_ Dipper argued. **Yeah, right, blame this on the poor man.** _It's not my fault he can't make civics interesting! Why do you care anyway?_ **I don't, I just wanted to mess with you, kid!** _Only Mabel can mess with me, and as far as I can tell; Mabel can't speak directly inside my head._ **Nice detective work, kid,** said the voice sarcastically **. But I'll never tell you who I am!** _I'll just keep guessing until I get it right then!_

Dipper had no idea who the voice in his head could possibly be. It could very well be some telepathic loser he didn't even know. Or maybe he was just losing his marbles. The voice didn't speak on either Thursday or Friday. The weekend came, and Dipper had almost forgotten about it.

His homework was done and all of his reading planned out for the next two weeks. It was Friday night, Dipper had no plans to go out and was therefore laying on his bed. Max had plans with other friends and Dipper didn't want to ask to join them so late. It was also nice to have some time alone. Time to think about things, anything, or even nothing at all.

Dipper's thoughts wandered about for some minutes until they clearly formulated : "What am I doing here?" Dipper didn't feel compelled to come here, and he had been accepted in plenty other colleges; but somehow, he was here. _What if I had chosen to go somewhere else?_

 **You would still have me with you!** The voice answered.

 _Why would I care about that?_

 **I am hurt, I thought you would be more keen to know who I am.**

 _I would be if I had something to start with! But I don't._

 **You mean you don't have a clue? Haha!** The voice laughed vigorously.

 _Maybe you could give me one? I mean, there's not much else you can do since you're just inside my head._ The voice stopped laughing instantly.

 **Alright kid, one clue and that's it. I may just be a voice inside your head for now, but I intend to become a whole lot more than that.**

 _That's not even a clue. Come on, show me what you got._ The voice didn't answer right away.

 **Pessimum malum somnium tuae ego sum.** The voice finally answered, in what sounded like Latin.

 _I'm supposed to know what that means? Give me another one, or at least say this one in English!_

 **No, we agreed on one and this is it.**

 _We never agreed! This isn't fair._ The voice didn't answer. Dipper tried to get it to say something, but it seemed to be completely shut.

Pessimum malum somnium tuae ego sum, this was all he had to go on; whatever that meant. Dipper opened his laptop and typed the phrase into a google translate slot. After a few spelling errors that refused to be translated; he got: Worst of all, I am the evil of your dream. Well, at least this established the voice inside his head as an enemy; though the sentence made little sense. He had taken some Latin classes in High School, but those notions were long gone from his memory.

What he could remember though was that each word was inflected and indicated what function it held. He looked up a table of the different word categories online and soon reconstructed the sentence in the English order : ego sum tuae pessimum malum somnium; which according to Google translated to: I am your worst bad dream. _So the voice is my worst nightmare_?

This confused Dipper even more because nothing came to mind. He didn't have a recurring nightmare, or even a bad dream that he could call the worst of all. He asked the voice about it but it never answered.

He decided to just give up for now and maybe play some video games or watch TV to fill up the time. He went to the kitchen to cook himself some pasta first. He had gone grocery shopping last weekend and his cupboards and fridge were now filled with food. His mom had checked his grocery list and approved it beforehand; scared Dipper might just feed on chips and hot dogs; not that a meal of pasta was really healthy either.

Once that was done he sat with his laptop in the living room and ate while catching up on some TV shows first. The voice's clue as to who it really was trotted around in his head in the meantime; making him focus less on the episode he was watching. Finally he paused the episode, just so he could clearly think about what the voice had said. It always seemed to comment on things Dipper did and now it said it was his worst nightmare. Maybe he was just really going crazy and imagining the worst of himself as a separate entity; similarly to Pi's more reason driven explanation in _The Life of Pi_.

In the book, the boy is stranded on the Pacific Ocean with a tiger, but when he tells that to investigators, they don't believe him. So he says the tiger was just the animal part of him that he had become so alienated from he imagined it as a different being. Maybe Dipper was just doing the same. But it didn't really make sense since he was not going through a major life crisis or anything, much less stranded in the middle of an ocean.

Maybe it was more like some entity watching over him. Like a guardian angel; but much worse since it was his worst nightmare _. More like a demon…_

 **Finally Pine Tree, you're on the right track!** The voice exclaimed, sarcastically. It all became very clear to Dipper. This voice could only belong to one person, or rather entity.

 _Bill Cipher, what the fuck are you doing in my head?_


	5. Exorcism?

**I've been here for weeks, and now you realize who I am? I think you're getting dumber.** _I am not, I just assumed you were dead._ **I never was, kid.** _But didn't Great Uncle Ford destroy you when he erased Grunkle Stan's memories?_ **Right, destroy me. Nope, no such thing. I had no physical form, that's for sure; but I was still alive.** _How? And why did you stay hidden all these years?_ **Oh, I wasn't hidden. I was too busy wreaking havoc in Sixer's mind. You see, when he erased his brother's memories; I became just that, a memory. Not in Stan's mind, but in everyone else's. Some remembered me more than others. Sixer was still worried about me the most and so his memories sustained my existence the most. I chose to bet it all on him and live in his mind. He recognized me instantly and ignored me for years. So inconsiderate! He never told any of you and I was too weak to switch minds. I tried to get him to work with me, but he wouldn't. His loss. When he died, I was able to switch minds. I looked around for who remembered me most; and you turned up. Sweet little Pine Tree. So I get into your mind, talk to you; and you don't even have the decency to recognize me!** _Woah there, calm down. Maybe I'm slightly more haunted by you than anyone in my family now; but it's still been 6 years. You can't expect me to remember your voice perfectly; much less to assume you were still alive. I couldn't have known._ **Yeah well, now you do, kid. Not only that, but you don't seem to be happy about seeing me here.** _Did you expect me to be overjoyed too? Look, Cipher, I don't want to be used for some plan you got going on. I would like you to get out of my head, thank you very much._ The voice stayed silent for a few minutes _._ **I can't really do that right now. Or until you die.** _What?! So I'm stuck with you for the rest of my life?_ **Well, not exactly. You see, there are ways to get me out of your head before you die. You just won't like them.** _I don't care what it is I have to do to get you out of my head, but I'll do it._ **Suit yourself.** _So, how do I do it?_ **Have you heard of a Library?** _Yeah, like everyone on Earth._ **Go search there.** _Really? That's all you got? Go to the Library and do research? Who do you take me for? Your Guinea Pig?_ The voice did not answer. Dipper waited for a few minutes, persuaded this was all a trick. But when the voice didn't answer, he decided to search the Internet first. Opening his laptop, he typed : 'how to get a demon out of my mind' in the Google search bar. A bunch of religious stuff popped up. Most of them told him to go see a priest, say a prayer and the like. Dipper read some lines aloud, before realizing how stupid he must have sounded. Maybe a visit to a Church could help. **No, you are not taking me there. Those places are a form of torture.** _Then how to you expect me to get you out of there? I don't think a Library will have much more on this. Maybe this calls for an exorcism._ **I want you to search other possibilities first until we decide. I don't want to completely disappear either.**

 _Why not, maybe it would be better for the both of us! For the whole world actually._

 **Hell no, Weirdmageddon was just the beginning; I have far greater plans for this universe.**

 _Enough with the world domination crap. If you want to get out of my mind without damages to it; you will have to get down your high horse._

 **Or we could just slightly damage your mind. Looks like the work I did there 6 years ago has been mostly repaired.** Dipper really wanted to strangle Bill right now, but he unfortunately couldn't.

 _I would like to stay sane, thank you very much._

 **I didn't know you were sane in the first place!** Bill laughed hysterically at his own joke. Dipper, on the other hand, was fuming with anger.

 _At least I can say that I have some sanity; unlike you!_

 **Being sane is for unimaginative people like you. Insanity is way better. Even Dr. Seuss is in on it.**

 _What about him?_ Dipper asked, forgetting his anger for a second.

 **He said: "I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. "**

 _Well that explains why all his stories are weird as hell._

 **It also shows the superiority of insanity. But enough with the debate. Go do your research!**

 _I can't, the Library is closed. I'll just go tomorrow. You waited for a few weeks, you can wait another day._

 **One day kid, or else you can begin to imagine what I will do to your puny meat sack when I get out of it.**

 _I'd rather not._

Dipper waited for an answer from Bill, but it never came. He continued to watch some TV until he was tired enough for bed. But falling asleep proved to be harder than ever. Dipper couldn't help thinking about all that Bill had said. How he had been in Ford's mind all this time without any of them knowing. How he was still alive, somewhat _. What will happen when he gets out of my mind? Will he go back to what he was before he was reduced to this? Or will he lose his physical form?_

 **You know I can here you, right?**

 _Yeah, but I'm surprised you're talking so much. You didn't seem very interested in having conversations with me before._

 **That's because I couldn't. You did not think about me very often, so I was pretty weak. But then you started giving more thought to who I could be and I gained strength. The fact you're thinking about me so much you can't fall asleep right now is why I'm so talkative. Also; Ford has ignored me for years and you are the first person I can talk to with hope of a response.** He paused. **It's nice to have power again.**

 _Enough to leave me alone?_

 **Sadly no. I want to get out of here as much as you want me out; but I'm afraid it won't work that way. I tried.**

 _Well I guess I better strike gold tomorrow at the library._

Dipper tried to think of other things, but his mind kept going back to Bill. One more urgent question now pressed him: should he tell Mabel? He knew he could trust her and she knew Bill too; but she was far away and probably more afraid of Bill than Dipper was right now. He did not like the demon one bit; but at least they were on the same page. Mabel was having her own studies to deal with, and maybe wouldn't have time to help him with this. Before falling asleep, Dipper decided to not tell her unless he didn't find anything at the library tomorrow.


	6. Research

The next morning felt like a usual day; until Dipper remembered about his 'demon problem'. He was taking a nice sip from a cup of black coffee when Bill yelled:

 **What the fuck are you doing? It's 10 am and you're still not at the library!**

 _Hold your horses, I literally just woke up._

 **Oh, I'll hold my horses. I'll hold them.** He paused. **You monster.**

Dipper continued drinking his coffee, consciously ignoring Bill even though the demon stayed quiet for the time being. He finally got ready around 10:30 and left his apartment. Fifteen minutes later, he was at the closest campus library; and Bill started talking again.

 **You should start with the fantasy section, and if that doesn't work, try the scientific research.**

 _I know how to research stuff at the Library, Bill. This isn't my first time here._

 **Quit stalling and get to work!**

Dipper unwillingly followed Bill's orders and settled at a computer. He entered 'demon' into the search bar of the library collection. A few thousand hits came up. Dipper let out a sigh of despair and tried to specify his request. He added 'mind' and 'exorcism' to the search; reducing the numbers of hits to 208. _Still a lot of material._ He looked over the list and settled on a title that seemed to related to his problem the most: 'Demonic Possession'.

Dipper left the computer to get the book and came back a few minutes after with a dusty booklet. He scanned through the pages, in search of a phrase or sentence that would relate to his personal case. Page after page, he felt his eyelids drop due to the monotony and boredom of the task. When he was done with that book, about two hours after; he set it back to its original placement.

 _I don't know how long I'm going to be able to do this for._

 **You better not give up kid, or I'll make your life a living hell.**

Dipper sighed, and proceeded onto the next book; using the same process. At the end of the book, he would have given anything for a nap.

 **No naps!** Bill shouted.

 _Coffee break, then. I'm going to fall asleep any minute now; and this is going nowhere._

Dipper welcomed Bill's lack of comment as much as the fresh outside air on his face. The walk to the closest Starbucks was refreshing and Dipper felt revived when he set back to work half an hour later.

The library closed at 8pm, and by then Dipper had only briefly read five books. None of them had offered a solution to his problem, although some did contain insightful information about demons and how they could take host in a human's body. One of them particularly said that if a demon chose to live inside your body, there were very few chances of ever getting that body back. This brought him back to when Bill used his body as a living sock puppet. According to the book, he had very few chances of getting his body back then; he couldn't imagine how hard to it would be to get his mind back now.

Bill, on the other hand, was quite furious at the slow rate of Dipper's research. He would be quiet for most of the time, fuming inside; and all of a sudden shout at Dipper for not making any progress. Dipper fought back the first few times; but grew used to it in order to continue working.

Dipper grabbed a sandwich at Subway on the way to his apartment. He ate while doing some more research online, at Bill's demand. The demon seemed to get more and more impatient as Dipper gave their situation more thought; which was unfortunately getting on Dipper's nerves. _You didn't seem this rushed to get out of my mind in the beginning; why are you now?_

 **I was actually having fun at first. You were so naïve and ready to believe you were downright crazy; it was a riot. But then you got all smarty-pants about it; and I had to listen to you all the time. Your brain never shuts up, not for one second! It's a mess in there and it's oppressing me; so, sorry for being a douchebag and pressing you to get me out of here, but I am currently perceiving what you flesh bags call 'pain'.** He paused. **You now have two options: get me out of here as quickly as possible, or shut your brain down for good!**

 _Hey, it's not my fault you got here in the first place. Looking for a way to get you out seems like it's going to take a while; so settle down, make yourself at home and wait for me to find the answer to this problem. Consider this payback for causing Weirdmageddon._

 **My greatest accomplishment to date.** He paused. **Or at least it would have been if your sneaky little family hadn't gotten in the way. Have none of you ever heard of the phrase ' to mind your own business'; because that's what it looks like. Always hindering my progress, killing my horsemen of the apocalypse. I should have destroyed you when I had the chance. And yet I didn't.**

 _Yeah, why didn't you? We ended up defeating you._

 **Yeah right, you 'defeated' me. Maybe next time, you'll have more luck.** He paused. **I actually kept you alive because you amused me. You thought you could destroy me; but you only made me more impatient to take over the universe. You were merely pebbles on the highway to success.**

 _And yet we still turned you into what you are today; though it wasn't really the plan._

 **Oh, you would have defeated me, for good; if only you had done it faster. But you were too slow and I had time to come up with a backup plan: I invoked the power to come back. And I did, though not in the way I had hoped.**

Both were silent for a while. Dipper felt questions burning at the back of his mind, but refrained from asking them; afraid it would make Bill either mad or silent. Weirdly, he was getting used to his conversations with the demon and kind of liked them. In a way, it was better than always being in silence.

Dipper wasn't really tired but he still settled in bed quite early, figuring he could start at the library when it opened tomorrow morning and maybe have some time with Max in the afternoon.

 **Nope, you are not hanging out with your friend while you could be doing research on me.**

 _Shut up, I'll hang out with my friends if I want to. You're not the boss of me. Besides, today's research bore no fruits, I doubt tomorrow will be any better; so might as well take a few hours off._

Bill stayed silent. Dipper knew by now that this way his way of indicating he was mad; and preferred to stay silent as well. He closed his eyes and let his body slow down. His mind was still active and it wasn't until about an hour later that he finally drifted into sleep; relieving Bill's torture.

Research the next day as boring as the first day, and likewise brought no results. Bill gave Dipper the silent treatment for most of the day; which wasn't such a bad thing. Dipper got to meet Max for diner and they talked about their weekends a bit; Dipper inventing a story about how he watched TV the whole weekend.

This time, Dipper had actually checked out two books from the library and briefly went over them once he got home. Still nothing. It was nearing 2 am when he finally got to the end of the second one, and by then he was so tired he just fell asleep as soon as his face hit his pillow. The thought of asking Mabel or anyone else for help did not occur to him even once during this whole time.


	7. Bill the Alarm Clock

At first, he couldn't see anything. Just miles and miles of pure black. He called it "the void". Bill floated in its emptiness, trying to find the edge of this world; but it seemed endless. Any screams he uttered would be absorbed by the blackness of everything. All he could do was exist.

Then came the voices. Sometimes just snippets of a sentence containing his name; less often fully formed thoughts of fear or anxiety. They all sounded the same to him ( though every flesh bag sounded the same to Bill), until one day Bill finally pinpointed the person most of them belonged to: Stanford Filbrick Pines. Bill tried to get closer to the voice, but that only made it more oppressive. Other voices faded out until all he could hear were Sixer's worries. His fear.

Overtime, he reached the end of the void; and could finally see what awaited at the edge: Stanford's mind. He settled in there the way you settle in your childhood home. For the first time in what would seem like infinity to a human (not to him, of course), he was somewhere he knew.

Stanford didn't notice him for a while, and Bill got more and more intertwined with his thoughts until one day he decided to speak up. It was getting boring in this mindscape, with nothing to do but listen to Ford all day. He nearly gave the old man a heart attack; but at least he recognized him instantly. Ford was as eager to get him out his of mind and destroyed for good as Bill was to get out and finish his business on Earth.

Unfortunately, Ford's life was short lived after this due to the stress induced by having a demon in your mind. Really does something to your sanity. So Bill was forced back into the void. This time, the voices didn't wait to show up; but they appeared less often. Soon, Bill realized this one belonged to Pine Tree, so he decided to try his chance again. This time, he took much longer to find Dipper's mindscape. Even once he found it, communicating with the teen was impossible until that fateful beginning of college.

But the kid didn't recognize him right away; and once he did, he was very unhappy to have a dream demon just hanging there in his mindscape. Bill told him what to do to get him out, and was just now waiting for an answer.

He knew after his experience with Ford that finding a solution was not going to be easy; but that wasn't a reason for the kid to slack off his duties! It's like he wasn't even trying! Bill was tired of being the good guy, he was going insane (well more insane than usual) in here, and he wanted out. Now.

So, as he yelled at Dipper to wake up at 6 a.m. that Monday morning, he felt entirely justified. Dipper however didn't take it very well.

 _What the hell, Bill? Did you really have to do that? My alarm isn't supposed to go off for another…_ Dipper shot a glance at his clock, _2 hours! Now shut the fuck up and let me sleep._

 **Sleep? No way kid, sleep is not what you should be doing right now. I asked politely the first time around, but now I'm sick and tired of being stuck in your stupid mindscape with nowhere to go and nothing to do; I want to get out.**

 _Yeah, I got that the first time. But waking me up early is not going to make me want to help you more. It's just going to make me very inefficient._

 **Actually, it's going to start your human organs early so you can get moving. Besides, have you never heard 'the early bird gets the worm' before? The library opens at 8 a.m. I need you to be there.**

 _Bill, my classes start at 9:00, there's no way in hell I'll find anything at the library before then. I'll just go in between classes this afternoon to pick up books._

 **No, you are going this morning or I will continue to scream until you are completely awake.** Bill proceeded to scream at the top of his lungs, making Dipper cringe at the sound.

 _Fine, just let me sleep until 7 then. I'll have time to get to the library._ Dipper finally managed to say in between two screams. Bill stopped mid-scream, seemed to consider Dipper's option; and then went silent. Dipper sighed and happily went back to sleep.

He very unfortunately woke up just an hour later to the same scary and borderline insane screams that seemed to be the alarm clock Bill came equipped with. But since Bill didn't come with a snooze button, Dipper had to actually wake up and yell back: _Will you please shut up!_

 **You don't have to be so loud, kid; I can hear you fine.** Dipper felt boiling anger come up; but he decided this was not a good time to have a fight with Bill, however necessary and rightly deserved.

He proceeded to get dressed, choosing a clean shirt to go along with his usual jeans. He made some coffee and pushed it down his dry throat along with some toast with Nutella. Dipper gathered his laptop and wallet in his backpack and brushed his teeth. He was almost ready at 7:35 when Bill said: **You know, you should really be hurrying up. At this rate we're going to get there after Mercury collapses into the Sun.**

Trying not to pay attention to that last part, Dipper replied: _If I go any faster, I'll get there before the Library opens. Besides I'm the human here and so I decide what we do and when we go. And now I decide that I will take my sweet time to get there; even if it is just to annoy you._

Bill thankfully didn't respond to this, and Dipper could finally put his shoes on in silence. He left the apartment to enter the near empty streets, the air still containing that sweet feeling only mornings have. The way to the Library was short, as well as reviving. Dipper exchanged his old books for new ones, chosen by Bill this time. He then got to his class; and with half an hour to spare, he went on to start reading one of the books.

Only as he saw the classroom emptying and prepared to go in class did Dipper notice a girl starring at him from across the hallway. She seemed focused as if deciphering an ancient code. As Dipper caught her glance, she looked away quickly. Dipper didn't pay her much attention as he put the books back into his backpack; but when he looked back up, she was right next to him.

"Your book looks cool." She said.

"Thanks." Dipper seemed lost at words. To top it all, the fact that the girl reminded him of someone didn't help him one bit.

"Is it for a class? Or you just like to read creepy and ominous grimoires?" Dipper was too shocked, and maybe also too tired, to think of a proper answer to this question. The girl may have perceived his despair, because she quickly added in a kinder tone "I'm just kidding, I don't really care what you read, Dipper."

And then it all clicked in Dipper's head. Emily. This was Emily from the party last week. "Ha-ha, I'm sorry; I'm just too tired for jokes. Nice to see you again though. I didn't know you were in this class."

"Yeah well, they told me I could live without it last year, but turns out I do need it for my major so now I have to sit side by side with puny freshman like you." She giggled. "On another note, " she added while walking into class with Dipper; "why didn't you call? A text would have been nice too."

Dipper mentally face palmed himself. _What an idiot!_ **Now you're onto something!** _Shut up Bill!_ "I…um…" Dipper started, "I was busy working on some school work, and I had to call my parents. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's nice to see you again though! New faces are always a good thing to have around. Especially when most of the faces you see every day are your best friend stuck by the lips to her boyfriend." Emily said with a sigh.

"Really that bad, uh? Well I guess seeing me can't hurt then."

"No it can't!"

They both settled in seats in the back, still enough in the middle of the row in order to be able to see the board. Dipper took out his laptop as the professor started to talk; forgetting for the first time in four days that there was a demon living inside his head. The moment was short lived however, as Bill quickly reminded him of his duties: **You better get to reading those books after this stupid class. The professor doesn't even know half of what he is talking about!**

 _Maybe you should be a college professor once you get out._


	8. Late Night Call

As could have been expected, the books Dipper had picked at the library that morning did not bring any light on the situation. He was still stuck with a demon inside his head, and to top it all he was actually getting behind on some classes. He had spent the whole week in obscure books, and readings and homework began to pile up. Friday finally came, and with it the relief of more free time.

Dipper came home that night with a fresh load of books from the library and a headache forming at the back of his head. Bill had been annoying him all day, visibly upset that they weren't making progress. Dipper grabbed a glass of water and swallowed a painkiller to subside the pain. He didn't dare open his online school agenda, afraid that the amount of work due would give him an anxiety attack. Instead, he settled in his bed, and opened his laptop.

He didn't know what exactly he wanted to do, but whatever it would have been didn't happen because as soon as his computer awoke a video call bubble appeared. It was Mabel, and Dipper just then realized he hadn't talked to her in a while. He accepted the call and immediately, the familiar face of his twin sister filled the screen.

"Finally! I've been trying to call you for ages!" Mabel said.

"Good to see you too." Dipper replied, unsure why Mabel was suddenly mad at him. "How come you tried to call me so much?"

"We decided to call every Friday, you remember?" Dipper mentally slapped himself for forgetting about his own sister. How obsessed with Bill was he?

"Right, I guess I just forgot."

"You forgot?! Dipper, don't tell me you think you're better off without me. I would be extremely offended." Mabel said in a playful tone.

"Of course not, I need you Mabel. I've just been busy with school lately." _First lie of the year, Dipper. Great job._ "Anyway, how've you been?"

"Oh, you know, going to classes, doing stuff with friends…" Mabel paused for effect, "and maybe going on a few dates with someone who I'm hoping will become my boyfriend." She smiled as her cheeks went a pale tint of pink.

"Oh no, don't tell me you've gotten yourself all worked up about a guy who hasn't given you a second thought."

"Dipper!" Mabel put on a shocked look. "He already kissed me, I think I'm doing fine. Besides, when was the last time you had a relationship? You're not one to judge!" She did have a point there. Though Mabel was most keen to have crushes and have some of them evolve into relationships); Dipper on the other hand wasn't so lucky. His last, and actually only relationship that counted, had ended more than a year ago and had only lasted a few weeks.

"Well, just don't get your hopes up too much. You know how we guys are."

"Not all guys are jerks, Dipper. You're proof of that, even though you're not the nicest either." Mabel let out a small giggle and Dipper grinned. "So, now you know what's new in my life; tell me what's new with yours! How are you holding up with homework? Did you catch any hot babes at parties? Or hot guys, I'm not judgmental."

"Mabel!" Dipper protested. Just because he made out with a guy once, Mabel is convinced he's into guys. **Well, telling me you aren't would be a lie.** _How would you know? Scratch that, I don't have time to talk to you now._ Bill complained, but Dipper decided to ignore him.

"Okay, okay. But seriously, what's up?"

"Uh…" _Bill's alive and he lives in my mind? I have to find a way to get him out before either of us goes mad; possibly me first? I might already be completely crazy?_ **Yeah, tell her that! At least you won't have to bear the extremely stupid burden called guilt that you flesh bags have for some reason.** _I don't think it's such a good idea._ "I've been getting late on homework recently. I have so much to do, I don't know if I'll be able to do it all in one weekend." Dipper opted for the safest option. **Coward! She could help, you know! She may be obsessed with guys but you can't blame her. Even I sometimes consider her more of a threat than you! She's so unpredictable!**

"Dipper? Dipper?" Mabel yelled. "What's really happening? I know you; you're never late on anything to do with school." Seeing as Dipper seemed lost in thought and probably hadn't heard her she yelled again, "Dipper?"

"What?" Dipper was forcefully brought back to reality.

"What happened? You seemed like you were on an entirely different planet." Mabel wasn't exactly concerned, but she couldn't help but feel the need to be there physically with Dipper; and not just by video chat.

"Oh, I was just…" **Come on Pine Tree, what do you have to lose?** _Why do you want me to get her help so much?_ **Because you're so slow at finding a solution and two people is better than one. Also, there is a slight possibility that she will either hate you or be terrified of you; so I guess that could always be fun to watch.** Dipper didn't know what to answer to that; and he was again brought back down to Earth by his sister calling his name.

"Seriously, Dipper; if there's anything you want to tell me, tell it to me. I'm your favorite sister, right?"

"You're my only sister, Mabel."

"I know. But come on. Mystery Twins?" Dipper couldn't believe she still stuck to that name after all these years. Mabel made a pleading puppy dog face; and Dipper couldn't resist. _Well, here goes nothing._

"Mabel, Bill's back and he's inside my mind." Mabel's face turned from imploring to extremely confused and terrified at the same time. And then, she laughed.

"Ha, that is the funniest thing I've heard all week Dipper! How do you come up with this stuff?" She was now holding her sides and her breath was becoming uneven.

"I'm not joking, it's true. He's been a pain in my ass ever since I started college." Dipper managed to say as Mabel was catching her breath.

"Dipper, Bill can't possibly be back and you know that. You were there when Great Uncle Ford destroyed Grunkle Stan's memories. He's not coming back." Mabel was over her initial fit of laughter and was now wiping the tears off her eyes.

"I don't know how he survived; I just know he's back. Mabel, I can talk to him."

"Ok then, ask him if me and Julian will make it to our one year anniversary."

"Mabel, I don't know…" Dipper started.

"Do it. I want proof." Mabel insisted. _So, Bill…_ **Yeah, I heard her question. Let me think.** Bill paused. The answered: **I can't possibly know because I am stuck inside your useless mindscape with nothing to do all day except look at humiliating memories of you, which however embarrassing they are, are not as entertaining as bringing humanity to its horrible and violent end.**

"So?" Mabel asked expectantly.

"Well…" Dipper hesitated to tell the truth to his sister. He finally opted in favor of it, or at least a nicer version. "He's not an all-powerful demon with no weakness anymore; so he doesn't really know anything." Mabel clapped slowly, looking around her room as if there actually was an audience there.

"Bravo, Dipper Pines. Very convincing. You almost had me believe you were actually telling the truth."

"But I am! I swear, he's driving me mad!"

"Yeah, right. I would actually start to believe you were mad if you continued to act like this. What is really happening, Dip-dot? You're not doing homework and now inventing this story with Bill? Did you spend your whole week watching horror movies?" Mabel giggled.

"Mabel, I'm serious. It's not a joke, Bill is really alive. We didn't destroy him."

"Then why did you only start hearing voices inside your head when you got to college?"

"Because before that he was in Ford's mind."

"Wow, you even thought of a crazy backstory involving our now late great uncle; who can't possibly confirm it now considering he's resting in a grave! What's gotten into you? Are so lonely that you created an imaginary friend and called him Bill and convinced yourself that he was back?"

"No!"

"Then what exactly are you trying to tell me, Dipper? Bill is dead, we destroyed him, and the nightmares from Gravity Falls are a thing of the past. Why would you want to even entertain the thought he could be back? Do you think it's funny?"

"No! But I'm not lying either."

"Look, Dipper. I don't want to call you a liar; but I think you don't understand the full scope of this. If you really are hearing voices in your head, maybe you should see someone about it. But I just think you're tired and lonely." Mabel sounded sincerely saddened by his situation, like Dipper had contracted some kind of mental illness that would slowly but surely drive him to madness. He sighed and decided to give up on trying to convince Mabel.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I guess I must have been not sleeping too well."

"Well I guess I better let you rest bro-bro. Have a good night." Mabel shut down the video before Dipper had the time to reply. _She's really scared for me, isn't she?_ **She's not scared for you; she's scared of you, kid!** _Bill, your advice sucks._ **Hey, you tell me. I'm not the one whose sister thinks I've gone all cuckoo.**

Dipper slammed his computer shut and went to grab the books in his bag. If his sister was not going to help him and Bill was just going to annoy him; he might as well work fast to find a solution to both problems.


	9. Revelation

Warning: Swearing. Also I know nothing about Thomas Edison and any supposition or joke made about him in this chapter is purely pulled from my imagination.

Dipper woke up the next Saturday morning around noon, and realized within seconds of getting out of bed that he had a ton of homework to catch up on. Brewing some coffee and eating some cereal; he opened his laptop and finally got started on all his readings. He had gotten about two hours' worth of readings when Bill decided to make himself heard. **What, that is not even partially true! Pine Tree, stop reading this nonsense and educate yourself with demon practices instead! I could teach you how to melt people's tongues!**

 _No thanks, Bill. I'm going to stick to human sciences._

 **"** **Sciences", more like "approximation of a simplified model of the meaningless thing that is life"! Why do humans even try to study nature, they're terrible at it!**

 _Because as a demonic triangle you would know so much more about human anatomy?_

 **As a matter of fact, Pine Tree, I have been around humans long enough to discover the many secrets of the human body. Don't forget the times I've also used some of them as living puppets! Too bad I can't do that anymore!**

 _That's actually a good thing. Being separated from my body was a terrifying experience I never want to have to deal with again. Not that this situation is much better. But at least you can't mess with my body._

 **But I can always mess up your mind. I think I should do some remodeling around here….**

 _No, you leave my mind alone! It's scarred enough as it is; it doesn't need you messing with it some more._ Dipper got his eyes back to the paper he was reading, but couldn't focus on the sentence he was trying to read.

 **Stop fussing, if Thomas Edison hadn't let me into his mind; he would have never invented the lightbulb. He also would have never electrocuted that elephant; but that was fun!**

 _Wait, you knew Thomas Edison?_

 **I think "knew" is a weak word for what we had. I took control of his mind for most of his life and I got to become him. He got mad at me for no reason every time I gave him his body back; but he still welcomed me soon after because that man needed me. Such a moron! I can't believe you all think he's a genius.**

 _But, it's not like he's evil, right? If you possessed him all this time, how come people didn't realize it wasn't him?_

 **Because people are stupid, that's why! And also because he actually was a bit of a jerk and I know how to not get myself killed once I get a brand new body! I'm not an idiot, one toe out of line and those fools might have seen through my act; but since I'm an excellent actor, I fooled them for dozens of years.**

 _And no one suspected a thing?_

 **Well some of his lovers were pretty close to figuring out the whole shenanigan, but I left before they could actually do anything.**

 _Lovers?_

 **Yes, lovers, Pine Tree. Are you suddenly deaf?**

 _No, I mean, Edison was gay?_

 **Well I wouldn't say he was gay, but he certainly wasn't straight either. You humans have such a small minded concept of sexuality! He thought it was my fault; but I always blamed him. Women are boring when it comes to sex. Why did he have to get married to one of them?**

 _Wait, you mean you …_ Dipper couldn't even finish his thought, because imagining Bill in Edison's body having sex was too weird a thing to conceptualize. _I can't even…_

 **Ha! What a baby! Thinking of sex is making is making you uncomfortable? No wonder you have no sex life!**

 _Let's move on to another subject, like me doing my homework and you shutting up._ Dipper quickly said, turning a nice shade of pink.

 **Sheesh, kid; you're such a prick! You know I've seen you naked, right? I'm inside your mind, I can hear all you hear, smell all you smell, see all you see, touch all you touch…**

 _That's it, Bill! Stop being a creep and let me get some homework done so I can do research and get your perverted self out of my mind!_ Dipper interrupted as his face turned into a nice scarlet tint. He framed his face with his hands and focused on the text before him. Thankfully, Bill was done traumatizing him and he could get a good portion of his homework done.

As the sun set down, Dipper had done more than he expected to; and was proud about it. He made himself some diner and decided to finally give another shot at the books he had brought yesterday. There was only one left, and Dipper started leafing through it. It was as useless as the other books, so he didn't pay particular attention to everything on the page; including some weird symbols here and there.

He had reached the middle of the book when he found a page covered entirely of symbols. He didn't give it much thought and was about to turn to the next page when Bill shouted: **This is it!**

 _This? This weird collection of symbols? But they just seem like they're hanging around, having a good time. There's no order._

 **Not to your monkey brain obviously. This is an extremely ancient language and only a few recluses today have come across it. No human knows how to read it, or even knows that it's a language.**

 _But you can read this? What does it say?_

 **Hold on, it's pretty complicated and since I don't have all my knowledge I can only hazard a translation.**

 _Then how do you know this is it? It seems to me you're just going crazy._

 **I know it's the answer we've been looking for because it says "demon out" at the top. The language is pretty rudimentary, but I can guess that it will offer a solution to our problem. Ha, there it is!** Bill went silent, making a few "hum" and "ha" as he read through the symbols.

 _So?_ Dipper asked.

 **Shut up, kid! You can't rush genius!** Bill continued to peruse the page. It took a few more minutes before he spoke again. **Okay, I think I get the basic idea. You'll need some fairy wings, a crystal, and either "one of your kin" or "one of your kind". That part is scribbled pretty badly and I'm not exactly sure which it is; but I can think of one human that can fulfill both conditions.**

 _Mabel._ Dipper's expectant face turned into a frown. _But she won't help! Can't you try to figure out if it just means "one of your kind"; because then I could just grab anyone._

 **Even if it was written "one of your kind", you would need someone who is close to you either emotionally or genetically; so Mabel is a pretty same bet.**

 _Are you sure you're reading this right?_

 **How dare you question my translation skills? I just found to the solution to our problem and this is how you repay me? By pissing on my translation?**

 _Fuck off, Bill. You know very well why I'm hoping we can get someone else than Mabel. Unless your long term memory is completely screwed up; you should remember that Mabel is convinced I am crazy and need medical attention. Either that or she'll think I'm making another joke!_

 **Listen, Pine Tree. I know convincing your sister to help is going to be a pain in the ass; but I'm afraid it's the only choice you have. Well, better start cooking up some story to make her help!**


	10. This is College After All

Sorry for not updating on time (Saturday). I was busy procrastinating. I hope you like this chapter!

Dipper went back to the library on Monday in hopes of finding another solution to his demonic problem; much to Bill's disapproval. **You already have an answer, kid. Why the hell would you need to spend more time reading those books? I know you're a nerd and all; but come on!** Dipper had skillfully ignored him and went on his way to class with new books under his arm. He knew he had very little chance of actually finding another solution; but anything was better right now than seeing that look on Mabel's face again.

Dipper fortunately got all his homework done on time, allowing him to do his research. Two weeks went by with no new spell or potion that could help him. Bill was giving him the silent treatment, which was both a blessing and curse. A blessing because Dipper didn't have to hear that insufferable voice yell at him for no reason; and a curse because whenever Dipper read something he didn't understand, Bill wasn't there to help him.

However, this was all put to an abrupt stop on the day when one of Dipper's professors uttered the word "midterm". An avalanche of exams was preparing itself for the next three weeks and Dipper had to give up doing research on Bill in order to study. And since he hadn't paid as much attention in class since he had gotten so involved in getting Bill outside of his mind, he had a lot to do. Bill wasn't going to help him, and even if he was it might just be to give him false information.

Thankfully, just a few days before his biology midterm, Max called.

"Hey, Dipper. I was wondering if you wanted to study for biology together. Every time I think I know everything, it turns out there's at least one other thing I don't know! There's just so much to learn!"

"I know, man. And it's just for a required course that we didn't even want to take in the first place! We should totally study together. How about tomorrow? We can find a quiet spot in the library? "

"Nah, it's already super crowded. I'd offer my place, but I'm in a dorm and my roommates are really cranky."

"You can come here! I got a place of my own. It's not much, but at least we can study quietly."

"Sounds great! I'll bring my stuff around 10? Is that too late? Or too early? I never know…" Max quickly mumbled.

"10 a.m. works for me. I'll see you then!"

"Ok, bye!" Dipper hung up and sat back down at his desk, sighing.

 **What's gotten you all worked up?** _Oh, so now you're talking to me._ **Don't think this had anything to do with you.** _And why would I think that?_ **Because you're a human and humans are incredibly selfish even when things clearly have nothing to do with them. Humans also have a tendency to worry about stuff that means nothing at all in the grand scheme of things.** _Are you talking about my exams? Because they mean a lot. They count towards my GPA, which will get me into a good grad school, which will get me a good job._ **Human worries. You know this won't matter a few centuries from now?** _Yeah. Because by then I'll be dead._ **True.**

Dipper sat upright, and clumsily searched for his history notebook under all the paperwork on his desk. When he couldn't find it, he let out an angry groan and started to look for it in his backpack. **Calm down, it's on the shelf.** Dipper lifted his gaze to said shelf, and sure enough his notebook was there. _Um, thanks I guess._ **Now relax, breathe in and out slowly and clear your desk.** _What are you doing? I'm not a child!_ **Listen, Pine Tree. This is as hard for me as it is for you; so in order to make it easier for the both of us you're going to let me guide your studying and get this done.** _What would you know about studying for college exams?_ **A lot more than you might think, young man. Now clear your desk and grab a pencil.**

Dipper did as he was told, wondering what Bill had in mind. **Ok so you're going to read your notes, out loud; and every time there's an important thing you need to know, underline it or write it in the margin again.** _And this is going to help how?_ **Well, I don't want to read your entire notes so I'll listen to you and I'll read what you underline and so when the test comes, I'll have a perfect recollection of what you really need to know and I can give you the answers.** _You want to cheat, that's your plan? Nope. No way. I am not going to cheat. I'll study my way and if that gives me an F, then so be it._ **Whatever loser, but don't complain back to me when I'm screaming in pain because all you think about is this useless knowledge; or when you get a terrible grade.** _Fine._

Bill didn't answer after that, and Dipper continued to study. The next day, Max came as promised and they spent the first few minutes catching up on each other before actually studying.

"So, how is your studying going?" Dipper asked, not knowing what else to say.

"Can we please not talk about that? All of my day is studying, all of my nights are dreams about studying, and every time I call my parents all they talk about is studying. I'd much rather talk about your plans for Fall Break. I'm going to New York with my cousins. Two of them are twins and they're turning 21 and they said they would bring us into a bar. I don't know how that's going to work out; but it'll be fun to see them."

"That does sound great. I haven't really thought about my Fall Break. I guess I'm probably going home; that's what my sister would want."

"Older or younger sister?"

"We're twins actually. "

"Sick! I've only met my twin cousins, but they're both guys so it's not as cool. Do you two look, like, totally different?" Max almost yelled, visibly excited.

"Well, we just look like siblings I guess." Dipper paused, taken a bit aback by Max's enthusiasm. "You sure sound fascinated by twins."

"Yeah, it's kind of like an obsession of mine ever since my parents told me I had a twin in the womb! It's kind of weird story, actually. It's much cooler to have a real twin, of course!" Max seemed slightly embarrassed, maybe because Dipper was looking at him weirdly. Dipper managed a small smile at the corner of his lips and Max relaxed a little.

"That's still pretty cool! And having a real twin isn't the glamorous story it's made up to be. Sure, when you're kids you've always have someone to play with; but as you get older it's not really the same." Dipper paused, thinking he'd opened up too much. Quickly he followed with "But you know, we should probably study biology instead of talking about twins."

"Yeah, right; that's what I came here to do. And also escape my crappy roommates."

The two boys settled down at the kitchen table and opened up their notebooks and computers. They studied until Dipper's stomach made an astonishingly loud noise and Max laughed. They decided to go get some lunch and went down to the Subway next door.

They studied together until natural light wasn't enough to clearly read their notes and they had to turn on the kitchen ones. Doing so, Max looked anxiously at his watch and began grabbing all his things.

"I should go. It's getting late and I have to study for another class before going to bed. It was nice studying with you, we got a lot done!" Max rapidly stuffed everything into his backpack and was out of the front door before Dipper could say anything else.

 **That was a bit odd.** _Not really, I bet he just had to study for that other test. And even if it was something else, it is none of my business; and therefore none of yours._ **Whatever you say, Pine Tree.**

Dipper spent the next few days stuck in his room, trying to learn as much as he could without mixing up the material too much. Bill had gone quiet, apart from a few annoyed sounds here and there. Friday came again, and Mabel texted Dipper instead of calling him.

"Hey bro-bro. You want to talk?"

"I would, but I'm really busy. Midterms."

"Same here. Are you coming home for fall break?"

"Are you?"

"Yeah, I really miss mom and dad."

"I guess I'm coming too then! See you in a few weeks!"

Mabel didn't mention their argument from last time, nor did she seem to think he was still crazy. But that was probably because she was too tired or too hyper with sugar to really care. Dipper knew how Mabel studied; therefore he also knew the enormous quantity of sugar she could eat in one day just for the sake of staying focused and awake. He did not know, however, how she managed not to puke during those times.


	11. It's not Cheating, right?

The first midterms finally arrived, and Dipper couldn't feel less ready. He had studied as much as he had deemed necessary, but looking back now; it seemed too little preparation for the storm that was about to hit. Max wasn't too much help either, coming into every class with a huge pile of notes and the biggest cup of coffee Dipper had ever seen; swinging it all around and shaking frantically. He continuously asked Dipper to check his knowledge of the material, and almost always knew everything by heart. As the last weekend of freedom came, Dipper was glad to get rid of that additional stress.

Bill hadn't made any more attempts to help Dipper's studying, and while his silence couldn't mean anything good; Dipper was glad to be able to only hear his own thoughts. It worried him at first that maybe Bill wasn't as concerned with his escape; but soon the thought was replaced with test anxiety and Dipper nearly forgot he had a demon living inside his head.

However, Bill wasn't so keen on being forgotten; and his comeback would have caused Dipper a heart attack; had he not been used to the screaming, annoying voice. He had been writing his first midterm, which had been going rather well considering his sweating activity; when Bill suddenly decided he had answered wrong on the previous question. _I thought I told you to let me do my exams alone._ **I can't let this one pass, kid. The answer is obviously B.** Dipper looked at the question again, realizing Bill could be right. _But why should I trust you, my answer could be right too._ **Well, you rely on your human memory; I had a mental photograph right here of the answer from your notes. The answer is B.** Dipper didn't waste more time trying to fight with Bill; he looked at his answer again and , not changing his answer, moved on.

He finished the test before the end of the allowed two hours; and going over his answers, Dipper stopped at the question where Bill had corrected him. Now that he had Bill's input, the answer appeared to clearly be B. Dipper changed his answer, expecting a very loud "I told you so" from Bill; but all he got was silence. He handed in his exam and headed out of the classroom. **Why'd you do it, Pine Tree?** _Well, I wasn't too sure about other answers; and this could mean the difference between an A- and an A._ **Are you trusting me? Wow, I didn't expect that to be this easy.** _I'm not trusting you, I'm using you,_ Dipper thought more to himself than to Bill.

When Dipper came home that night, he checked Bill's answer on his notes; and even though he already suspected it, Bill had been right. He picked up studying for his other midterms and thankfully wasn't interrupted by Bill.

His next midterm was the very next day; and this time, Bill didn't wait for the exam to begin to interfere with Dipper's answers. **You want help on this one, Pine Tree?** _No, I can do this on my own._ **Suit yourself!** Dipper opened his exam paper with the sensation that Bill was just waiting for an opportunity to interrupt Dipper's thought process. _You're still going to give me the answers, aren't you?_ **Well, I didn't stay awake and focused for hours of studying for nothing! You know how fatiguing and dull it is to concentrate your whole being on what is happening outside of your host? I had to give up precious hours of rest; I'm as exhausted as you, kid!**

Dipper seemed to consider the possible truth of the statement; but one quick glance at his watch brought him back to reality. _I guess you can correct my most misguided judgements._ **Yours, or your professor's poor understanding of the universe?** _Don't play omniscient demon with me; or else I'll just hand a blank paper._ **Ha, you think I would buy that? Come on,** **Pine Tree; your persistent desire for good grades is the sole reason I even remotely care about this.** _What?_ **You heard me.** _Don't be a wise ass; since when do you care?_ **Since I've wanted to get out of your dimly witted head.**

 _How does that even relate to you suddenly having human-like qualities?_ **You really are as dumb as they come!** Bill sighed, possibly rolling his imaginary eyes. **In order for me to escape, you need to actively help me; and you can't help me if you're up to your neck in studying or in bad grade induced self pity. Do the math!**

Bill had a point; and although Dipper felt like slapping himself in the face at the absurdity of it all, he had already wasted considerable exam time and proceeded to start his test. Bill interjected the right answer every now and then; adding the occasional snappy comment. Dipper finished just as the exam ended, and rushed to his professor to hand in his paper.

 _I can't believe I just cheated on an exam; a college exam!_ **Hold it, young rebel. That's not cheating, that's using your resources to their advantages.** _Are you just trying to convince me to do this again?_ **Oh, you got me! Well, it was nice knowing you; but I've got a monstrous migraine due to this much concentration, and I have to take a nap.** Something seemed to disappear in Dipper's brain, as if Bill had occupied space and had now vanished. Dipper didn't feel like arguing with the demon again and headed home.

The rest of his midterms went down in a similar fashion, and however unethical Dipper thought it was, he wasn't unhappy to use "the best of his abilities" as Bill called it to get a good grade. It eased his stress and he didn't see the time fly by. Soon enough, it was Fall break and his classes were put on hold for a whole week. At first, Dipper saw this as the best opportunity to finally get rid of Bill, but he was unfortunately reminded of his duties by an ecstatic yet tired Mabel on the first Friday of the holiday.

"Dipper, are your bags ready?"

"Not really, but I can throw a bunch of clothes in there." Dipper replied, yawning.

"Dipper! I told I would pick you up Saturday morning on my way home! When will you take me seriously?" Mabel theatrically threw her arms up in the air for emphasis, though Dipper couldn't see her.

"I care, I do; I've just been busy with school work. " Dipper put his phone on speaker and started looking around his room for clothes that looked clean enough to be packed.

"I'm going to let this one slide because I'm so excited to see everyone! I've been packing all day and my roommate thinks I'm nuts for bringing a whole gallon of glitter."

"You are nuts, don't you dare contaminate my things with your chemical stardust."

"Contaminate? I think your lack of showering has already contaminated them enough."

"Really, you're still stuck on the idea I don't shower every day? I was twelve, Mabel!"

"Yeah and kissed a pillow with Wendy's picture on it!" Mabel burst into laughter. Dipper's face went pink and Bill took this opportunity to add to his torment. **I'm not sure kissing was the only thing you did to that pillow.** _What?!_ Dipper's cheeks turned a violent red. _I have no idea what you're talking about._ Bill didn't answer, and Mabel slowly regained control of her voice.

"Anyway, I still have to find a way to get June into his box; he doesn't like it very much." June, whose entire name was Waddles Junior, was the replacement pig Mabel had gotten a year ago after Waddles passed away. It was even more excitable than his predecessor, and didn't understand the concept of cleanliness at all.

"Do you have to bring him? Can't your roommate take care of him?" Dipper asked, shoving a few socks into his suitcase.

"And leave him behind for a whole week? I can't even leave him alone for a day without breaking his tiny heart. Besides, all my roommates are visiting family, so no one will be here."

"Fine, but he's not allowed in my room. "

"You're no fun, Dipper. What happened to you? Did your midterms snatch your soul?"

"I guess I'm a little tired, but I'm not sleep deprived enough to think that letting a dirty pig inside my room is a good idea." Mabel sighed. Dipper changed the subject: "So, when can you get to my place tomorrow?"

"I'm probably going to leave as soon as I can, so expect me before noon, I guess. I'll text you when I leave and when I get here." Dipper nodded and then remembered Mabel wasn't in the room with him.

"Ok, be careful on the road though."

"When have I not been careful on the road?" She did have a point. Dipper was always the one to lose focus while driving their shared car, one time even driving on the wrong side of the road for half a mile. Thankfully, there was no traffic and he didn't get into an accident.

"Well, I'll see you in the morning then."

"You better be awake and have your bags ready, I'm not waiting outside for you; I want to get home for dinner."

"Yes, captain! Good night." Dipper hung up and accelerated his packing. He was almost done, his mind focusing solely on the thought of his bed, when he came across the library book with the spell to get rid of Bill. **Better not forget that bad boy, you won't get another chance before Christmas.** _Does it really have to be Mabel?_ **Kid, I already explained my reasoning, so unless you want me to step up my game, you better perform that spell in the next few days.** Dipper picked up the book and shoved it in his suitcase with the rest of his stuff. Taking it with him didn't mean he had to use it, right?


	12. Home

Mabel was right on time, as promised. Dipper had jolted awake at the sound of his alarm and gathered his things in a rush after receiving a text from Mabel saying she would be here in 30 minutes. He got to the front of his building just a few minutes before Mabel's arrival.

"Wow, I actually didn't expect you to be on time. The traffic was lighter than I expected so I thought you would not even be awake to see my text." Mabel said, getting out of the car to help Dipper put his suitcase in the trunk.

"Very funny, but I actually had an alarm set up so this very scenario wouldn't happen." Dipper closed the trunk and climbed in the passenger seat next to Mabel.

"Seatbelt." Mabel announced and waited until Dipper was strapped before hitting the gas pedal rather forcefully. "Well I'm glad you're up anyway, we could probably get home mid afternoon if the traffic keeps being this nice."

Unfortunately, the traffic did not continue being so light. Around noon, it was so heavy Mabel even turned the motor off completely a couple of times so as to not waste gas. Dipper was getting restless after so many hours in the car, and Mabel wasn't really helping with her upbeat attitude and her 80s playlist blasting through the mediocre car speakers. Talking to her was rather useless as she was mostly singing along and sharing her memories of the past few weeks. Dipper could only nod and maybe sing along. The prospect of telling Mabel about the spell to release Bill from his mind weighed on him and his mood was only slightly lightened by the idea of coming home. He had only been gone a few weeks, but he missed having conversations with normal human beings.

 **Oh, so you're saying you don't like conversing with me, Pine Tree?** _Bill, you were doing so well shutting up for the beginning of the ride; why can't you continue to do so and leave me and my thoughts alone._ **Someone's in a bad mood. Relax, Shooting Star will inevitably come to the realization she needs to help you rather than fight you.** _I don't know if I want her involved at all. She hasn't come into contact with anything supernatural since that first summer in Gravity Falls. She doesn't even believe you're alive._ Bill did not answer, and while this did not calm Dipper's nerves, at least it did not annoy him more.

Traffic began to clear around 3 pm and the twins approached their destination a little later than anticipated. Just as they entered Piedmont, Dipper took a deep breath and said:

"Mabel, there's something we need to talk about. Privately."

"Dip, I know what you're talking about, but can't it wait until later? I'm ecstatic about being home for the break and I don't want you to ruin the mood with your weird Bill theories."

"They're not theories, Mabel, they're the truth! Come on, you got to know I would never lie about supernatural stuff." Mabel stopped the car along the side walk in the city center, a couple more minutes from their house. She turned to face him.

"Look, can't you just pretend for one night that everything is normal? Pretty please with sugar and a cherry on top?" Mabel's face turned into her well-practiced begging puppy face and Dipper let out a sigh.

"Just one night then, we'll talk about it tomorrow." He conceded.

"Thank you!" Mabel exclaimed as she hugged him before starting the car again.

 **You know you can't keep pushing this off forever.** _Maybe you should try resisting to her pleading face next time; she can get anything out of anyone with that._ **You know, you're right. I should take over your mind with my emotion-less entity and control your every move. It would be much easier!** _Ha ha, good joke Bill,_ Dipper thought sarcastically. _I know you can't do anything expect fuck with my mind which I don't think you've done too much this far._ **Maybe that's what I want you to think…** Dipper didn't bother replying, a chill of doubt running down his spine.

They finally reached their family home a few minutes later and as Mabel parked into the driveway; their parents came out of the front door to greet them.

Diner consisted of Dipper and Mabel's favorite dishes, including a nice sweet potato casserole and an enormous chocolate cake of which Mabel ate way too many slices. While their parents seemed extremely excited to see them, the twins felt more relaxed than they had ever been during the whole semester so far. Being with family had such a soothing effect on all of Dipper's worries that for the first time in a while he didn't fight Bill when the demon tried to convince him to set fire to the table cloth and burn his family alive. For the first time in a while, he felt he could take on his enemy because he was not alone.

The night ended when Mabel let out a yawn that cascaded onto the rest of the family. Dipper was glad to find his room untouched and slightly cleaner than he had left it, and collapsed on his bed. He fell asleep almost instantly and began having a very strange dream. He was lying in a field looking up at the constellations in the night sky. But something seemed off about the stars above him. Dipper starred until it dawned on him. The big dipper was missing.

Suddenly a wild laugh rang, surrounding Dipper with a sense of dread. _Bill_ , he realized. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, a yellow triangle with a top hat and a cane came into his vision field and startled him.

"Well, isn't this nicer than our little mind communications? I finally have a body, though not in the way I would want it." Bill said.

"What is this? How are you in my dreams now?" Dipper got up from the soft grass.

"This is just some tiny project I've been working on; it makes it all easier to talk to you." Bill paused. "And also do this." Dipper didn't have the time to wonder about what Bill meant by that because the demon started hitting him repeatedly with his cane. Dipper tried to defend himself while begging Bill to stop.

"You idiot! I do everything to get you to think I'm on your side, I even sacrifice time and energy to learn your supposed human knowledge; and that's how you repay me? By being a wimp and a coward?" Bill exclaimed as he kept hitting Dipper.

"Stop…hitting me….why…are you….always….such a…..dick!" Dipper punctuated every word with a hit of his own to Bill, but they didn't seem to faze him. The yellow demon eventually stopped hitting Dipper and instead grew to twice its size and took on an alarming shade of red.

"I don't think you've learned your lesson meat-sack, but I got bigger fish to fry. Since you can't convince your naïve sister to join forces with you, maybe it's time for someone else to take control of your body. And by someone else I mean me, obviously." Bill said with a booming voice at least one octave below his regular one.

"No way. I just need to prove to Mabel that I'm not crazy and that you're not going to destroy the whole world once you get out of my mind."

"What, you think you can make me promise I won't start Weirdmageddon again? I can't make deals in this form, so good luck getting anything out of me!" Bill had shrunk back to his normal size and color and was now busy playing with his tie.

"I know I won't get you to play along, but maybe I can find a way to control you. I know you won't tell me anything so…"

"A containment circle." Bill interrupted. "It contains whatever magical entity is inside, until someone breaks it." Dipper couldn't help the expression of utter shock on his face.

"Why are you helping me?"

"Because like I said, I have to pretend I'm on your side for now so that you have all you need to get me out of this prison."

"You know, for someone who prides himself in his genius, you sure expose your opinions on betraying me a lot."

"Listen, kid. I know you want this situation to end as much as me, so I also know that whatever I do afterward, you're still going to do everything you can to get rid of me eventually."

"You're really full of yourself, aren't you?" Bill laughed, his triangle body folding in half. "Well, good luck finding a way out of my mind, because I am not helping you anymore."

Bill stopped laughing abruptly, and then laughed even harder. When Dipper didn't add anything and he couldn't laugh anymore, Bill wiped the tears in his eyes and looked at the teenager.

"Wait you're serious?" he asked, anxious, looking at the stern look on Dipper's face.

In less than a second the dream disintegrated and Dipper woke with a start, his body drenched in sweat. He knew from the look on Bill's face that the demon had not been the one to end the dream. Which meant he now had some weapon to use against Bill.


	13. Watching Netflix

Dipper woke up the next morning to the sounds of excitement of his twin. Not really curious about their reason, Dipper nonetheless rose out of bed due to their annoyance. His family was already in the kitchen eating pancakes, and Mabel rushed out of her seat and to him as soon as he pushed the door.

"Hey Dipdot, you'll never guess who's coming to visit us tomorrow!" Mabel paused for effect and then shouted even louder, which Dipper didn't think could be physically possible "Grunkle Stan! He called this morning and said he would come for a few days!" Dipper forced a smile on his face, though his feelings were of the opposite kind.

"That's great, it's been a while since we've seen the old guy." Dipper added before pouring himself some coffee. And now there's yet another person I've got to be wary of when getting rid of Bill. _Wonderful._

"It's amazing! He's never been quite the same since… well you know." Mabel's voice turned back to its normal volume. "Anyway, I got to get ready, Lorelei and Jenna are already waiting for me at the mall." With those words, Mabel ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her room. Unlike Mabel, Dipper had not been so successful in keeping up with his high school friends. The few he could call as such had barely responded to his messages and he knew that one of them at least wouldn't be here for break. Which meant that he had no plans today and could take some time off to think about his demonic situation.

However, breakfast face to face with both his parents would have to come first. Since it was a Saturday, none of them had anywhere to go in particular and it seemed his parents wanted to know every detail of his last few weeks, down to his showering schedule. Dipper was able to escape by making up some excuse about homework he needed to do and made it to his room after an hour of interrogation. As he sat on his bed he had the feeling something was very wrong but he couldn't put his finger on it. As he took out the library book with the spell to get rid of Bill, it dawned on him.

The demon had not uttered a single word since his dream last night. While Bill usually gave him the silent treatment when he was mad, this somehow felt different. _Bill had seemed to want to cooperate last night so why would he shut up all of a sudden?_ Dipper tried to get a reaction out of him by yelling his name and threatening to burn the spell book but his efforts were in vain, Bill remained silent. _Well, there's not much I can do without Bill or Mabel right now, so I guess I might as well just catch up on some TV shows since there is no way in hell I am doing homework on the first day of break._

He was able to watch a few episodes before his parents called him to lunch. Mabel still wasn't back from the mall and probably wouldn't be back until diner at the very least. Dipper therefore had to endure his parents' questionnaire again, but the parental units seemed to have satisfied their curiosity after this morning's interview. He was able to watch more TV after lunch, but Bill remained silent. Dipper couldn't help but worry a bit since Bill was always so keen on bothering him whenever possible.

Mabel came home right on time for diner, with three huge bags full of her purchases. They ate their Dad's famous stir fry, and Mabel yawned halfway through the meal.

"Off to bed early young miss, you wouldn't want to be tired for Stan tomorrow would you?" said their mother. Mabel nodded and finished her plate.

The twins left their parents soon after diner and Dipper waited until they had reached the top of the stairs to grab Mabel by the shoulder and tell her:

"I didn't say anything yesterday becasuse you promised you would listen today." Mabel sighed, another yawn escaping her lips.

"Can't this wait? A whole day at the mall is much more tiring than one might think."

"No it can't wait. You promised and I can't keep pushing this off." Mabel sighed again, this time following her brother into his room.

Dipper took out the spell book and opened it on the right page; and then cleared his throat, not knowing where to start.

"Mabel, this is going to sound crazy but hear me out. For the past few months Bill has been talking to me inside my head and I have reason to believe he currently resides there for some reason. He says it's because he is formed from thought and memory and I am the one who thinks about him the most. And while it's maybe best for the universe at large if Bill stays contained in my mind, he and I both agree that we can't continue to live like this."

"Well it sounds like you've got it all figured out with your pal Bill, so why do you need me?" Mabel asked, all earlier traces of mocking Dipper gone.

"The spell that Bill found to extract him from my mind requires 'one of my kin' or 'one of my kind' and Bill thought you would be the perfect choice." If Mabel was repulsed by the idea she didn't show it, which Dipper was thankful for.

"So basically you can't do this spell without me and my approval." Mabel paused to think over it and continued. "But, if Bill gets out of your head, isn't he going to try to start Weirdmageddon again?" Dipper was hesitant to tell Mabel the truth, but he had learned his lesson about leaving Mabel out of important information long ago.

"Yeah, he told that would be on top of his list."

"Then why risk it? Can't you just try to ignore him? There must be a mute button or something?" until now Dipper had not seen doing nothing and ignoring Bill as an option, but now that he was accustomed to the demon and could tune him out…

"Actually, I haven't heard from him since yesterday. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but I was also able to interact with his nightmare."

"Wait, hold on, you said nothing about nightmares! If Bill is messing with your head, he's got to go, even if that means Weirdmageddon. Dipper, I won't let you risk your sanity."

"So you think we should try to get Bill back into his former self? Are you crazy?"

"No, I still think you're the crazy one and I only believe this whole story because you're my brother and I know you would not make a joke this long."

"Because my jokes are terrible?"

"Yes they are. Plus, it would explain why you haven't talked to me as much as usual since this thing started. I believe you, bro-bro."

"Thanks Mabel." Dipper felt a wave of relief. He hadn't thought convincing Mabel would be that easy, but maybe it was because she was too tired to protest. He was glad however to have his sister on his side.

"So how do we get rid of this evil triangle without killing the whole planet?"

"Bill thought we could use a containment circle when we get him out of my mind, that way he won't be able to leave and cause chaos right away at least."

"He really wants to get out of there, doesn't he? I wonder what's so bad about your mind? Is it still overflowing with random thoughts of Wendy?" Dipper punched Mabel playfully on the shoulder. His feelings for Wendy had died long ago and they were now excellent friends, and while Mabel knew this, she also loved to embarrass her brother.

"The usual reason: humans suck, we can't do anything right."

"That sounds like Bill alright. So, when do we do this spell thingy, because as much as I love to help you, I would also prefer to stay away from all this supernatural biz as much as possible?"

"On it." Dipper replied and then to Bill _Hey, are you actually going to participate or are you just giving me the silent treatment?_ He waited for an answer, but there was none. "Bill isn't talking to me right now, for some reason; and since he is the only who can translate this old spell, we're going to have to wait for him to get over his enormous ego and talk to me again."

"At least he's not singing Journey at the top of his lungs. Does he even have lungs?"

"It's probably best not to thing about it." Dipper closed the spell book. "We should probably get to bed, you look exhausted."

"Thank you, I've been waiting to hear those words all evening!" Mabel got up from where she was sitting and reached for the door. "Try to get some sleep, you nerd!" She left into the hallway as Dipper responded:

"I wouldn't count too much on it, you hipster!" Mabel's laugh resonated into the house.

"Good night!" she practically yelled as she got into her room.

"Night!" Dipper answered as he opened Netflix again, for lack of better things to do.


	14. Glitter is a Surprisingly Good Weapon

When Dipper finally fell asleep, he was surprised to see his dreams take him to Bill's nightmare. Not that it was much of a nightmare, more like an eerie place created by Bill that could probably kill you in eight different ways before you made a single movement or uttered a single word. Fortunately for Dipper, the 'mindscape', for lack of a better word, didn't seem to want to annihilate him and Bill was nowhere to be seen. At least, it looked that way until a resounding roar rang throughout the space.

"You!" Bill appeared; big, red and glowing, in front of him. "How dare you banish me after all the help I gave you last night? Do you have any idea what this could have done to the realization of our plans? Of course you don't; you barely have a grasp of the infinite forces controlling your puny point of the enormous universe! You cannot begin to comprehend what you inflicted upon my astral projection, not even counting the fact that my core energy resides in your peanut!" Bill reached for Dipper's shoulders, but instead hit an invisible wall. This confused Dipper even more than Bill's speech already had.

"What the hell! What are you talking about?"

"You banished me from your mind! While it was just for the time you were awake, it still projected me thousands and thousands of layers deep inside the untouchable region of your subconscious. I could have suffocated in there and you wouldn't even have known!" Bill tried again to hit Dipper, swinging his fists around, each hitting the previous invisible barrier. "Take it down now so I can slaughter you and use your entrails for several brutal purposes."

"I wouldn't do it even if I knew what you were talking about." Bill continued to bring his arms, enlarged due to his size, down on Dipper; but he stopped as soon as the boy stopped speaking.

"You mean you don't know what forces you're dealing with? How you managed to figuratively bury me deep inside your subconscious?" Bill seemed to grow larger, as if this was possible.

"I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. Could get your ass back to normal size and explain to me what the fuck is going on?" Dipper was getting scared, and though this was just a dream, he knew Bill must have retained some of his power in the mindscape. His words seemed to force Bill back to his yellow and smaller size, though the red tint in his single eye was not gone as he began explaining.

"It appears you have gathered the power to push me away from your thoughts, at least when you're awake. This means I couldn't communicate with you at all, and now it seems I can't hit you either."

"So that's why you've been silent all day. I just thought you were mad at me for some stupid reason."

"Well now I'm mad, so if that was what you were looking for, great job, you found it!" Bill glowed red for a few seconds before going back to yellow.

"How can I change it back to normal? It's not that I mind being alone in my own thoughts, but I kind of need you to help me work the spell. Without you, I have no clue what to do, and obviously neither does Mabel."

"Did you finally convince her to join us? Or were you too incompetent to even utter a single word?"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, but Mabel has agreed to help. We might have to wait a few more days though."

"Obviously, you still need to gather the ingredients for the spell; or has your troubled single brain cell forgotten about that?" The insult didn't hurt Dipper as he had heard thousands like it before, but he had completely forgotten about the ingredients for the spell.

"No, of course I would never forget that." Dipper tried his best to sound convincing, and Bill seemed either to believe him or not care enough to bother with the truth.

"Good, because I don't know if you can find fairy wings anywhere around here. A crystal should be easy though, I'm pretty sure your father has some lying around in his mineral collection." Bill went silent for a moment and Dipper grabbed the opportunity to question him more about what he had done the day before.

"So, when I banished you, do you know how I did it?"

"If you don't know, there's nothing I can do to help you, kid. Those things are not exactly rigid spells. It's more 'you want it, you wish for you hard enough, and you get it' kind of spell. I think you're capable of figuring those out on your own, although I might rethink that since you look clueless."

"I guess I just wanted you to leave me alone, but I wish for that on a daily basis so how come it worked just this once?"

"The simple explanation would dictate that I am more vulnerable in this niche of your mind in which we are now. This is the region of your incompetent brain that I have claimed for the purpose of my existence. I brought you here yesterday because I figured it would be easier for us to communicate that way. Lucky for you, you fucking bastard, this allowed your tiny magical abilities to push me out of here and into a confined place in your subconscious where I could do no damage, severing our communication link. But now I wouldn't mind if you could reverse that idiotic spell so we could continue with our plans!"

"I don't think that's such a good idea. You're pretty enraged now and I don't have time to mentally fight you tomorrow while Stan is here."

"Fez! Why didn't you tell me sooner? He has fairy wings, I'm sure of it! I'll wake you up now so you can tell him to bring about half a dozen." At the look of confusion on Dipper's face, Bill added "the spell doesn't exactly say how many we need. Okay, there you go."

Dipper awoke in his bed, the clock on his nightstand announcing 3:48 a.m. _What the hell, Bill?_ The demon did not answer and Dipper judged it was because the spell was still up somehow. He grabbed his phone and started a text message to his great uncle. _Bill may be a pain in the ass, but he is right about this. I don't know how I could get fairy wings any other way before the end of break._ His message ran like this:

Hey Stan, I can't wait to see you! Sorry if this wakes you up, but could you bring half a dozen fairy wings tomorrow? You know, from your gift shop or maybe Ford's lab? Can't tell you what they're for yet, but I really need them. Thanks.

Dipper knew this didn't sound very convincing but he hoped his great uncle would comply with his request. He fell back to sleep a few seconds later without checking for the reply from Stan.

Bill didn't appear again in his dreams, and for this Dipper was thankful. He woke up the next morning feeling even better than he had the previous day, only to be reminded of the day's events by his phone's text message alert. Grabbing his phone, he looked at the reply Stan had given him earlier this morning.

You're lucky my brother had all sorts of weird things lying around. I found those wings you asked for (at least I think I did). I'm leaving Gravity Falls now and I should be at your parents' place midafternoon. See you soon, kiddo.

The clock on Dipper's phone indicated 11:25 a.m. After getting dressed, Dipper went downstairs to see how day would unfold. His parents were sitting in the living room, his father knitting what looked like a scarf and his mother reading a sci-fi novel. He found Mabel in the kitchen, half the counters already covered with edible glitter (at least he hoped it was edible).

"Dipper, you're awake! Back to those old sleeping habits, eh? You should help me with lunch now that you're up!"

"I don't think that would be wise, but then again I don't think letting you in the kitchen is wise at all; so I guess I can help minimize the damage." Mabel shoved him playfully, but Dipper slipped on one of the many puddles of glittery substances on the floor and fell painfully on his butt.

"Oops, sorry about that. I always forget how glitter is a surprisingly good weapon." Dipper got up with the help of the counter and joined Mabel.

"So, what are we cooking today?"


	15. Last Days of Freedom

Stan arrived as planned in the middle of the afternoon. The Pines family was enjoying a card game since no one was allowed to leave the house until Stan got here, and fall break was for family fun, wasn't it? Dipper was clearly winning, although Mabel would change the rules ever so often so that she got her share of the glory. Their mom was extremely competitive but also glad to lose to her two kids, while her husband was still knitting ever so often and didn't really pay attention to the game.

The sound of the old car in the driveway accompanied by a cough that would scare any doctor within a three mile radius meant Stan had finally made it. Mabel rushed to the front door, beating the old man to it. She tackled him in a gentle hug, Stan's health not being what it used to be. He now had to walk permanently with a cane, and took so many pills Dipper honestly didn't know how he did not confuse them all. However, he was still their beloved Grunkle Stan, and Dipper hurried after his sister to greet him.

"Ugh, you again? I thought I said I didn't want to see you two little goblins again." Stan laughed, gently hugging Dipper as the boy made it past his twin's secure embrace. "Did you grow, or am I just getting shorter?"

"You probably just got shorter; I haven't grown an inch since 11th grade. Though it would be nice to be a bit taller, I guess." Dipper answered. "But I'm still the alpha twin now!" he exclaimed competitively to his sister, who spit her tongue out and flipped him the bird, Stan laughing at their interaction.

"Well, this cane isn't making me look any younger. How are your parents, kiddo?" The twins' parents were now in the doorway, looking gently over their children.

"We're right here, you know. You could just ask us." Their mother said, a smile escaping her lips. Both she and her husband now approached Stan, the twins having moved to the side.

"There it is, my favorite family on the west coast. So nice of you to invite me, it gets lonely in the shack." Stan said.

"Even with Soos and his family? Isn't Melody pregnant again?" Mabel asked. Melody, Soos' wife, had now given birth to three children and didn't seem to show any signs of stopping there.

"No, but it wouldn't surprise me if she was before the end of the year. Soos said he wanted a billion kids last time I asked him, but I'm pretty sure this one could be the last. If this one happens." Stan's smile grew brighter as he talked about Soos. He had become the handyman's substitute father and cared for him like the son he never had.

"I don't know how he likes those things so much, all they do is cry, yell, and pee in their diapers. It's worse than a pet!" Dipper commented.

"You say that now, but I remember last time we saw them. You were mumbling gibberish to baby Cassandra in hopes of making her smile. All she did was grab your nose! It was hilarious." Mabel said.

"That was a one-time thing, and Soos was trusting me with babysitting her; I had to do my job right." Dipper defended himself.

"Alright kids, enough." Their father said calmly. "Your great uncle needs to settle in and rest. He's been driving all day!"

The twins nodded, walking to the trunk of Stan's car and beginning to unload his suitcases. Stan and their parents entered the house, laughing lightly about something. Dipper waited for them to be out of hearing range and took his chance.

"Mabel, I got news about the spell." The smile on Mabel's face turned to confusion then to focus. "Bill said we only need fairy wings which I asked Stan to bring, and a crystal from dad's collection."

"Wait, you want to steal from dad? Nope, he's going to figure us out, he loves those minerals."

"I know, but I don't think he would agree to let us destroy one of his precious crystals."

"You don't know for sure whether it'll be destroyed. Besides, we could maybe try to buy one ourselves."

"Mabel, this is a pretty serious spell we're talking about. I don't think any material we use is going to come out unharmed." Dipper tried to push away the thought that they would probably be harmed in some way as well. "And I don't think we have enough money to buy a thing like that. Plus, dad's crystals are like the best ones he could find, so they'll definitely work." Mabel sighed, confronted with the harsh reality. She already didn't like lying to her parents and Stan, and now they were going to have to steal from their dad as well. If it weren't for Dipper, she would have abandoned this plan long ago.

They carried Stan's stuff up to the guest room and then joined the others in the living room. Mabel went off with her dad to finish preparing diner. Stan was sitting in the only armchair, petting their pig June, who had arrived here inside a half-eaten cardboard box. The animal was making small content noises, and Stan chuckled alongside it.

"So, how is college going for you? Still living the dream like my brother?" Stan looked to Dipper, a pained smile on his face.

"Well it's not the cool place everyone makes it out to be. Sure it's fun for the first week of the semester, but then shit gets real."

"Language, Dipper." His mother interrupted.

"Oh come on Marcy, the kid's eighteen, he can swear if he fucking pleases." Stan said. Marcy was his niece, and while he had not seen her for thirty years, the two got along famously well, probably because of their love for arguing.

"But seriously, I'm so deep in homework, I'm lucky if I can go outside for other reasons than going to class. It doesn't all suck though. At least I don't have any pesky roommates."

"A man with his own space, that's nice." Stan looked back at June, but the pig had probably other ideas in mind as it jumped to the ground and went to the kitchen.

"How's the Mystery Shack doing? You still see Wendy?"

"Yeah, whenever she's back home from military service, which isn't really often. And when she does come back, she ends up sleeping through most days and leaves pretty soon, so I don't see her much." Stan sighed, Dipper at lost at what to do to cheer his 'grunkle' up. Thankfully, Mabel chose this moment to interrupt their conversation, if you could call it that, and call them all to diner.

She and Dipper had prepared an entire chicken, along with some rice and Mabel's homemade and extremely glittery cookies. Stan's grim expression left his face and was replaced by a grin, and in this moment Dipper was glad he had a sister such as Mabel. He was never good at cheering people up, but she was a natural at it. All she had to do most of the time was to be there, and her charm was now working wonders on a morose Stan.

Mabel proposed they watched a movie after diner, and while everyone was excited at first, only the twins made it through the movie without falling asleep. Not that the movie was terrible, although it wasn't a masterpiece, but everyone seemed just tired.

The next few days proved pretty uneventful, although it was nice to have Stan as a babysitter and guardian. It reminded Dipper of their summers in Gravity Falls. Stan only looked sad when none of the twins were looking so they made it their duty to stay with him as much as possible. Stan eventually gave Dipper the fairy wings he had collected, not even asking why he needed them.

Stan left the next Wednesday, more cheerful and upbeat than when he had arrived. Dipper promised to write to him more, although he knew he would probably not be able to do it and the small smile on Stan's proved he knew it as well. The twins were left to their own devices and Dipper convinced Mabel to go grab a crystal from their dad's collection while their parents were still at work.

They found one which fit with the description Bill had given Dipper two nights prior, and Mabel tried her best to move the others around so their dad would not notice an empty spot where it should have been. That Wednesday night, Dipper couldn't fall asleep. He finally had all the ingredients for their spell, and he knew that he would be able to lift the curse off Bill so they could communicate more easily in order to do the spell. Being so close to his goal scared him as much as it relieved him. He was ready to get rid of Bill and his incessant bickering, but maybe not ready to face the possible destruction of his universe.

Bill hadn't been able to communicate outside of his dreams for the past few days, which made Dipper question whether he should really go through with his plan. After all, he could just keep this situation going forever, so why did he feel like he was making the right choice by exposing Bill to the outside world?


	16. The Spell

"Finally, I thought you never were going to fall asleep! Do you know how long I have been waiting?" Bill exclaimed in Dipper's mindscape.

"A day?" Dipper had other things on his mind at this moment and didn't need Bill's bitter comments.

"Yeah well, at least I see you got the material for the spell. Now if you could just" Bill stretched his arms up in the air, taking his time before finishing his sentence, "lift this curse and we'll be on our merry way."

"I think I'll lift it when I wake up. I can't have you beating me up right now; in my own mind might I add!"

"Yeesh, kid. I forgot how sensitive you were. Am I glad to finally get rid of you!"

"About that" Dipper started, "maybe we should talk about what you're going to be able to do after you get out of my mind. Like, no killing people or torturing or other weird and gory stuff."

"Relax, you'll have the containment circle, remember? I may be slightly evil, Pine Tree, but I'm not stupid or obsessed with unattainable things. This circle is the only way to gain your trust so I'll just have to suffer a bit before I'm totally free." Dipper stayed silent for a moment, thinking about what Bill had just said.

"We won't be able to contain you in the circle forever though…"

"No you won't, but that's the fun part!" Bill laughed maniacally, holding the sides of his triangle form with his tiny black hands. Dipper knew they had no chance in the long run against Bill, so he came to a resolution, trying his best to hide his decision from Bill. The demon continued to laugh and didn't seem to have notice the slight change in Dipper's mind.

"How can I know you won't trick me with the circle?"

"Pine Tree, I'm touched that you don't trust me! Only idiots can trust other idiots! But seriously, why would I lie to you? This circle protects you from me as much as it protects me from you. Since I'll probably be weak upon my escape, I don't want you and your crazy twin running at me with all sorts of weapons and try to destroy me. This is insurance for you as much as it is for me." Dipper chose to believe his words, because after all, it did make sense. And they were also too far gone on this plan to back away now. It wouldn't make sense.

All of a sudden the scenery changed and both Bill and Dipper found themselves in the Mystery Shack. It was nearing the end of the day, the orange light falling lightly on the carpet of the gift shop. A younger Mabel was sitting behind the cash register, blowing an enormous bubble of bubblegum and letting it pop open all over her already pink lips.

"Mabel, that's disgusting. Can you stop?" A younger version of Dipper said, his voice coming from near the vending machine.

"Only if you can stop trying to make your mustache grow by doing push ups. That's not how the body works!" Young Dipper sighed, and resumed his sweeping of the shop. It only took older Dipper a few seconds to recognize this memory. They had been fifteen and this had been the most boring summer in Gravity Falls. Wendy had started military training and they'd only caught a glimpse of her before she left. Soos and Melody had been so busy with the kids, Dipper and Mabel had to babysit them if they wanted to spend time with the couple at all. Not to mention that it had been incredibly hot and very few costumers had made the trip to the Mystery Shack, hence the twins trying to pass the time as best as they could, like blowing bubblegum or doing unnecessary push ups.

"Why did you bring me here?" Older Dipper asked to Bill who was now floating over Mabel's head, trying to read her magazine over her shoulder.

"I like messing with you." Without further explanation, Bill returned his attention to the page Mabel had just flipped.

"But, you weren't here at all this summer. Or any other summer as a matter of fact."

"That's what I wanted you to think." Loud voices were heard from outside and the Stan twins entered the gift shop, arguing like they almost always did.

"Stanley, did you ever stop to think that maybe it was a bad idea to flirt with the cashier? She's a teenager for fuck's sake." Ford said.

"Language, the kids are here." Stan replied, trying his best not to add any swearwords of his own.

"Oh please, we've been saying 'fuck' for the last two years, I think we can hear what Ford has to say." Mabel commented.

"Well, I tried to give you good manners, pumpkin; but it looks like I failed. And that cashier was definitely into me, you're just too weird about flirting and romance as a whole to actually see anything."

"Grunkle Stan, Ford does have a point though. You don't flirt with a teenager. You're like, a bazillion years old!" Mabel threw her arms in the air for emphasis. No one said anything for a moment, and then Stan crossed his arms over his chest and left the room.

"Did you see it?" Bill asked suddenly.

"What was I supposed to see?" Dipper replied after jumping at the sound of Bill's voice, having forgotten the demon's presence for a while.

"Look at Sixer's face attentively, I'm going to rewind." Bill did as he said and Dipper heard the last of Mabel's argument before the whole memory froze. Ford was looking at the carpet, but he had stopped looking annoyed. Half his mouth was twisted into a smile while the other seemed determined to stay neutral.

"What's wrong with his face?" older Dipper asked Bill.

"What's wrong with his face?" Bill repeated in an irritating imitation of Dipper's question. "Can't you guess? I just made a joke!" Dipper looked back at Ford, then Bill, trying to understand what the demon had just said, when suddenly it dawned on him. That was the look he had on his face for the last few months most times Bill made a comment inside his mind.

"You were inside his mind?"

"I had been for a while already. Sixer tried to fight my influence for a long time, but he finally gave up. And then he'd laugh at my jokes." The sick twisted look on Ford's face felt so bizarre, Dipper didn't know how he hadn't noticed it before. His great uncle's absent faces, the times he'd talk to himself even or just laugh or frown out of the blue. It all made sense.

"He never told any of us, not even me." Dipper sighed, the memory fading.

"Well, would you tell your family if a demon inhabited your mind?"

"I told Mabel, didn't I?"

"Yes, but you needed Shooting Star." Bill moved to float in front of Dipper. "If Sixer were alive right now, would you tell him?" Dipper thought about it; but honestly, he didn't know. Ford may have been his hero when he was younger, but even he held secrets from Dipper. What would Dipper have done?

"Your face is making some weird scrunching of your features, I'm not sure if I like it. Plus, your alarm is going to ring pretty soon, so please get rid of the curse before you wake up!" Bill waited, his hands crossed over the top of his cane. Dipper's thoughts were put to an abrupt stop and he focused his mind unto accepting Bill into the entirety of his head. He knew he had succeeded when Bill grinned and said, "Wakey wakey, little Pine Tree."

Dipper awoke to the sound of his alarm clock which he had set the night before. He wanted to get the spell over with as soon as possible so that the rest of the day could be dedicated to damage control, if anything didn't go as planned. **Now go wake up your sister, you blithering idiot! Oh, it is good to be back!**

It took a few tries to wake Mabel, and finally Dipper succeeded, but not after getting punched all over his upper body. The twins ate breakfast together as their parents left the house for work.

"You're up early." Their mother commented. "Do the dishes while we're gone. And don't break anything!" she added as she left.

As soon as Mabel was declared awake enough, they gathered the fairy wings and the crystal inside Dipper's room. Dipper had gotten an old chalk from the kitchen board to draw the circle on his floor. Removing his carpet, he copied the drawing Bill projected unto his mind. **I would have done a better job, but this isn't half bad. It should work.** _That's all that matters, isn't?_

Dipper placed the ingredients in the center of the circle as directed by Bill and joined hands with Mabel.

"This is it." Mabel said, her eyes glued to the containment circle on the floor. "Let's hope this works, dip-dot." Dipper reassuringly pressed his sister's hand in his. **Alright, let's go! Now repeat after me Pine Tree!** Bill pronounced some weird sounds that were probably words from an ancient language and Dipper tried his best to repeat them without messing up. He did stutter a bit and mumbled some words, but overall Bill seemed satisfied as he began to laugh as soon as the spell was done.

And all of a sudden his laugh turned into a blood curling scream and blinding light forced Dipper and Mabel to close their eyes. As suddenly as the sound had come it disappeared and slowly the light dimmed until Dipper could open his eyes. Reaffirming his grip on his twin's hand, he shyly opened his eyelids, only to fling them wide open and then incredibly quickly shut at the sight in front of him.

Where seconds ago there had been bright light stood a naked man.

 _Oh shit._


	17. The Human in the Room

Dipper hesitantly opened his eyes again, only to be met with the sight of a naked human Bill once more.

"For the love of God, put some clothes on!" Mabel shouted, one of her arm thrown in front of her eyes as if she didn't trust her eyes not to look. "Dipper, grab some from your closet and give them to him." It took a few seconds for the sentence to register in Dipper's brain but he eventually nodded in agreement. Opening his eyes as little as he could, he made his way to his closet and reached for a shirt and some pants. Throwing them at Bill he said:

"Put those on, I don't know if they will fit but try."

The naked man, which he assumed could only be Bill, seemed to be moving around and putting on the things Dipper had thrown.

"Seriously? Pink sweatpants? Are those Shooting Star's?" Bill complained, still trying to fit his newfound human body in the clothes presented to him. When he was finally done he added, "Alright, you meat sacks can open your eyes."

Anything Dipper could have come up with in the last seconds could not have prepared him for this. Bill was standing in the middle of the circle, the lines charred and flaking away. He was indeed wearing pink sweatpants ( _those were definitely Mabel's_ ) and an old blue shirt that was a tad big for him. If Dipper were to imagine Bill as a human being ( _why would he do such a thing?_ ), he would have thought him tall and probably blond with some amount of class.

The man that stood before him was slightly taller than him, but not by much. He had dark brown skin and black hair, the only thing reminiscent of Bill's yellow theme being his golden eyes. _He just looks like a regular guy._ His body wasn't scrawny but neither did he seem to have much muscle.

"I can see you're attracted by my dashing good looks!" Bill exclaimed, spinning around, giving Dipper a full view of his body.

"Not even close, Dipper's better looking than you." Mabel replied, her arms crossed on her chest and strands of hair in her mouth. Dipper felt his cheeks warm up slightly at the compliment, but his focus remained on the problem at hand.

"You said this spell would take you out of my head! I assume you would be in demon form." Dipper said to Bill.

"Well, it looks like it got me out of your head but out of my demon body as well." Bill extended his arm and closed his eyes. Nothing happened. "And it looks like I've lost all my demonic powers on top of it. I'm….human." Bill laughed awkwardly. "I guess they didn't lie when they advertised the spell as 'demon out'. All my demonic self is gone."

Dipper couldn't believe what he was hearing. _It couldn't be. The spell was so simple. We must have messed up._

"How can you know for sure that's you're completely human? For all we know this could be a trick." Dipper said, stepping back to stand next to Mabel.

"I figured as much because of this body." Bill answered.

"What about it?" Mabel asked.

"It's my old body. The one I was born with." Bill stretched his limbs out, pain reading all over his face. "And it's as annoying and limiting as I remember."

"What do you mean 'your old body'?" Dipper asked.

"I mean the one I had before. The one I had before I turned into a demon." Dipper turned to Mabel who looked as confused as he did. "You didn't think I was a demon all my life, did you? I started as a human, just like you. Thousands of years ago, back when human life was most prominent in Mesopotamia, I think that's what you idiots call it. But yeah, I transformed into a demon and left this meat suit behind. I never thought I would have to look at the old thing again, let alone live in it."

"We can turn you back, right? Not that I want you to start the apocalypse again, but I'm not sure you being human is that much better." Dipper asked.

"Unless I find a way to repeat the spell I used before, there's no way to turn me back." Bill then suddenly added, yelling, "So now I have to be stuck in this bag of bones again just because you weaklings can't fucking get your magic together!" Dipper and Mabel took a step back together, Dipper glancing at the containment circle line separating Bill from them. Bill followed his gaze and a grin replaced the anger on his face. "You think a line is going to protect me from you?" He took one step forward, crossing the boundary that meant nothing to him now. "I unfortunately can't torture you right now, I've got to find a way out of this thing. See ya!"

With those words, Bill exited the room. The twins heard his footsteps down the stairs and the front door opening and closing.

"What the hell was that? He didn't know what the spell would do but he told you to do it anyway? I thought you knew better than to trust a demon, Dipper!" Mabel wasn't truly mad, but she looked frustrated enough to punch someone in the face.

"I thought he knew what he was doing, but apparently he didn't know either." Dipper sighed. "Look, there's nothing we can do now. He's gone, but he's human; I don't think he can do that much damage even if he wanted to. Wort case scenario: he ends up in jail."

"I guess you're right. Plus it's not like we can run out after him now, he's probably too far." Mabel went to sit on Dipper's bed, motioning for him to sit next to her. "I just thought that for once we could have done something right instead of fucking up."

"We don't always fuck up. " Dipper tried to reassure her.

"I wouldn't exactly call what we did to Bill the first time a success either. He still ended up in Ford's mind and then yours; so I think we fucked up pretty bad."

"I don't think it's entirely our fault. Bill has been making our lives hell since before we were even born. He's always one step ahead. Who's to say that we failed every time only because that's what he wanted."

"You think he wanted to become human again? He didn't seem very enthusiastic about it earlier."

"I don't know what he thinks. And I don't care." Dipper stood up. "We tried all we could to solve his problem and we've made Bill practically useless now. There's nothing left for us to do. So what do you say we got downstairs and watch some TV?"

"And drink some Mabel Juice?"

"What? You still make that stuff?" Dipper suddenly felt very concerned about his sister's health. However, Mabel just laughed at his question.

"No, I was joking. You should have seen your face!" Her laughter eventually died down and she added "But yeah, TV does sound nice right now."

The two of them went downstairs and turned the TV on. They debated for half an hour on what to watch when Dipper fell on an old Indiana Jones movie and convinced Mabel to watch it. She only agreed because Harrison Ford was hot.

They watched other movies until the sun was setting and Mabel had fallen asleep on Dipper's shoulder. Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Mabel jumped awake, her hair stuck to half of her face with sweat.

"What? Who could that be? The parents don't ring, and they're not even supposed to be back yet." She said, her voice still heavy with sleep.

"I'll go check it out." Dipper said, leaving the living room. He reached the door as the bell rang again, "I'm coming!" The light outside wasn't on so he couldn't see the outline of whoever was there. Opening the door, he prepared his best 'I don't care what you're selling we don't want it' smile; but it dropped instantly as he saw who was indeed standing there.

"Aren't you going to invite me in, Pine Tree? After all, I was basically born in this house just a few hours ago." Bill's smile was wide, and his clothes ripped in several places.

"Where the fuck have you been? You don't leave like that and come back with no warning! My parents could have been here."

"Ah, yes, but they weren't. It's not my fault I look like a homeless man, these are your clothes after all." Dipper resisted the urge to correct him and motioned for him to get inside; looking quickly around the neighborhood to make sure no one had witnessed the exchange.

"I can give you better clothes if that's what you came for. But after that, you're leaving." Dipper had made up his mind earlier. Bill may be a danger to society and life in general in his demon form, but he was mostly harmless in this one.

"I will need those clothes, but I won't be leaving; at least not now. I'm going to live with you."


	18. What now?

Despite Dipper's best efforts, Bill did not leave. With a sigh, the brunet was forced to climb up to his room with him and choose some clothes that might at least fit his new body this time around. Looking through his closet, he found a yellow tank top and an old pair of jeans which would have to do the job. He gave them to Bill who was now turning things over in his room, examining every object and his face going from surprised to confused as he did so. The demon changed behind Dipper's back, making his thoughts known by loud hums and a few groans, accompanied with the usual stomping of trying to fit into jeans.

"I don't think I'll fit in those. My thighs are too large for your skinny little pants."

"Hey! But I think they're a size too small even for me." Fishing in his closet once again, Dipper came out with a more recent pair of pants his mother had insisted he looked good in although he never wore them. Throwing them over his shoulder to Bill, he waited again for the demon's judgement. After some more stomping and the sound of a zipper shutting tight, Bill answered:

"Yep, those fit. And they look great!" Dipper turned around to see Bill admiring himself in the square mirror beside the door. The shirt was a big too long on his shorter torso, but the jeans, he hated to admit, did look better on him than they ever did on Dipper ( _curse those noodle legs_ ). "Look at me, Pine Tree! I look like a human again!" Dipper was confused for a second at Bill's happy tone, since he had made it clear on several occasions how much he despised the human race.

"You are human, Bill. Entirely human." Not knowing what else to add, he got out of his room and joined Mabel on the couch.

"So Bill decided to stay?" Mabel asked.

"Unfortunately. I don't know what I'm going to do with him, mom and dad can't see him!"

"I might have an idea, but you're not going to like it."

"Can't be worse than letting him stay here and eat our food."

"Actually, that's the plan." Dipper's look of confusion drove Mabel to explain, "Look, I don't think we can change his mind about staying here with us, and part of me really doesn't want to try to anger a demon; so I think the best course of action is to let him do what he wants. Like you said earlier, the worse he can do is end up in jail. Besides, I'm sure he knows tons of fun stuff that we can do!"

"Mabel, his idea of fun is peeling a person's skin off with his own fingernails," Mabel shuddered, "so I don't think we'll have much fun with that. But I guess you're right, I don't want make us an easy target by rejecting him. He might be human, but he's still plenty capable of hurting people, so we shouldn't risk it. What do we tell mom and dad though?"

"You can pretend he's one of your college friends that lives nearby. That's plausible enough."

"But they'll get suspicious if he stays more than a night. That won't get us very far."

"We could pretend his house burned down and he needs a place to sleep."

"Wouldn't his family be with him then? And shouldn't he, like, be sad or something? Although it might explain why he's wearing my clothes."

"Okay, I've got it! His whole family is going to visit a relative he hates and he came here instead of going there."

"He could have just stayed home!"

"Goddam it, Dipper! Do you want to have to pretend he's your college boyfriend visiting you because he misses you? Because, that's the most plausible explanation and doesn't have any holes in it; but I thought you would prefer not to kiss a fucking demon!"

"Hey hey, whoa, calm down. I'm not going to pretend that he's my boyfr…" Dipper thought about it for a second. Even the thought of it made the bile in his stomach rise up, but he had to admit to himself that it was so far the best option. Frantically looking around his mind for a better solution, he heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Did someone say boyfriend?" A voice he recognized as Bill's said.

"No, no, what?" Mabel laughed anxiously. "We were talking about a completely different thing, about… about" she looked at Dipper, hoping he would help her find a way out of this situation.

"Boat friend! Yeah, a boat friend." Dipper chuckled nervously. "Our dad's friend has a boat that he calls his boat friend. It's weird, trust me." Bill raised a single eyebrow. Dipper crossed his fingers that Bill would believe him for the time being, he needed more time to think this through. After all, his parents wouldn't be home for another hour at least. Bill's stare seemed to cut through them, and suddenly he laughed.

"You humans are so strange! First it was being friends with people, then animals and now inanimate objects! No wonder every superior race thinks you've lost your fucking mind." Bill continued to go down the stairs and headed for the kitchen. Although part of him desperately wanted to follow him and make sure he didn't break anything, Dipper waited until the door closed behind him to whisper to Mabel:

"Ok, so, any other brilliant ideas?"

"You could pretend he's part of the charity work you have to do, or something? A nice guy who needed to place to hang before going back to college? An exchange student that you're in charge of? A pal who needed a … hey you know the exchange student one isn't bad!" Dipper thought it over, and decided it was a decent enough lie to tell his parents. He could say he had driven to the airport to get him today and that he was to drive him to his college. The only hiccup was…

"But it's not the start of a semester; starting classes now wouldn't make any sense."

"You could say he had problems with his passport? Or that he was with another student for the beginning of the semester but now he's with you?" Mabel shrugged her shoulders.

"That wouldn't explain why he's here, in my home, instead of in his dorm." The boyfriend solution was looking more and more fitting to Dipper, however much he loathed it.

"Maybe he just wants to know more about you and the American lifestyle?" Dipper was about to object to Mabel's suggestion, when he realized that this could actually work.

"Mabel, you're a fucking genius!" He said at a normal voice volume, hugging her as tight as he could.

"I know." Mabel hugged her brother back. "Now all we need to do is decide which country Bill is from and tell him our plan." Dipper separated from his twin and nodded in agreement. "I want to say he's from Egypt or something. He did say he was from Mesopotamia, right?"

"Yeah, but I was thinking more like Israel or Jordan? Maybe not countries at war though, but that's complicated with this region of the world." Dipper thought about it for a second and again decided that his sister's choice was a good looking one. "Egypt works, even if it technically wasn't in Mesopotamia. His skin tone matches pretty well and I think that's all we should worry about. We can say one of his parents was raised in the US to explain his American accent?"

"Or maybe he can pull off a real accent?"

"I don't think that's a good idea, but maybe he can do it." Dipper stood from the couch. "Alright, I'm going in."

"I'm right behind you bro-bro."

They left the living room and entered the kitchen which Bill still hadn't left. They found him bend over the toaster on the counter, clicking on every button and observing their effect. Things looked slightly out of place, like Bill had taken them out one by one and examined them, like he did in Dipper's room. _I hope he didn't make a mess up there._ Mabel joined Bill at the toaster.

"Pushing the buttons without turning it on won't do you much good. Look." She pushed the lever down and clicked on the defrost button. The inside of the machine slowly turned a glowing orange. Bill tried to touch it but thankfully Mabel grabbed his hand before he could. "That's super-hot, don't touch it! We use it to grill bread."

"Really? In this tiny metal thing, you can fit a whole loaf of bread?" The twins laughed at the absurdity of Bill's comment, which was followed by a lost look on his part.

"No, we cut the bread into slices and then put them in. I'll show you tomorrow morning. We have to talk to you now." Dipper said.

"All right. But you also have to show me how everything else works! You humans aren't good at much, but you're great at making machines do your job." Dipper looked over Bill's remark. "So, what do you meat bags want to talk about?"

"Mabel found the perfect cover for you while we're still here at my parents' house." Mabel went over their plan, explaining to Bill the parts he didn't understand. In the end, the demon seemed to comprehend the basic concept of it; although he jokingly said he preferred the boyfriend option. Wondering whether he knew what he was talking about or not, Dipper told him to can it and follow the plan, which he agreed to do.

After a few attempts at a horrible accent, Bill decided to stick to his American one. _How did he get an American accent anyway?_ Dipper looked at the time and saw they had less than ten minutes before their parents came home. He silently hoped this would work and that once back in his own apartment, he would find a way to get rid of Bill once and for all.


	19. Roadtrips and Unicorns

As Dipper drove out of his parents' driveway, waving goodbye frantically, he sighed with relief. While the last few days of his break hadn't been hell, they hadn't been a piece of cake either. Bill had stuck to the script they had devised with Mabel, and his parents had pretty much accepted the lie. Obviously, there had been times where Bill almost blew his own cover, like that one time he tried to make the mailman start a cult about him; but otherwise he had behaved like a nearly normal human being.

Mabel had brought Bill around the neighborhood to show him nature, but what really interested Bill were machines. The twins had gone through all the utensils in the house and explained them to him. He still jumped every times the toaster chimed, or when an alarm went off; but mostly he just enjoyed watching the Pines using the mechanical inventions. He had tried to learn how to use them, but after a couple of burns from the oven and getting his fingers stuck in a fortunately cold waffle iron, he finally gave up.

Dipper would be lying if he said he was more terrified of Bill under this form. At first, the demon had seemed unpredictable, but Dipper had soon realized that having him under visual supervision was way better than having him roam freely around his mind. There wasn't much the demon could do, and he turned out to not be much of a threat. A voice at the back of Dipper's mind, however, kept nagging him that it was strange Bill was adapting so well to human life. He wasn't behaving suspiciously or anything, nothing about him yelled that he had some backup evil plan waiting to be set in motion. _Maybe he's just as lost as us for once._

Dipper was glad this stressful week was finally over, even if it meant going back to the heavy load of college homework. He had barely found time to work on his assignments over the last few days, and though he blamed Bill, he knew it was more due to his inability to sleep if he wasn't sure the demon was asleep already. The end result had been a lecture about the importance of homework by his father and a mocking laugh from Mabel.

None of that mattered now, however. He was going back and even though he could just pass Bill as some friend living with him, he didn't know how long the demon planned to stay with him. Once they reached the highway and Mabel was sleeping in the back seat due to her last minute sleepover the night before, Dipper decided to have a word with Bill about his stay.

"So, how long do you think you'll stay with me?"

"Who said I was going to live with you? Is your ego really that disproportionate? I could live with Shooting Star if I wanted to."

"I just figured it would be weird to live with Mabel since she has a roommate and no place for you to sleep. I have a couch, and you've already been living in my mind for the past months, so it makes more sense for you to stay with me."

"I know, I just wanted to get a reaction out of you. I'm sad I didn't even get so much as a glare. I thought you'd be much more fun to irritate once I got out of your mind; but it turns out you're as dull as they come." Dipper restrained himself from punching Bill. He knew it was what the demon wanted and he could not start to give in now.

"You didn't answer my question though." Dipper said, ignoring Bill's choice of subject completely. If he had looked at the passenger seat he would have seen Bill's look of pure disbelief, but thankfully for the demon, the brunet was focusing on the road.

"Well, I want to get a hang on this human thing first. I barely got a grasp of that grilling machine and I still don't understand why you put that weird smelling thing on your armpits." At this Dipper laughed. Bill's first reaction to deodorant had been hilarious as the demon started cursing in what could have been Latin and was signing occult symbols over his chest. Even now he was still cautious of the stick itself, staying as far from it as possible.

"Then you can leave and live by yourself? Somehow, I don't think that's a good idea. And trust me, I would love never having to see you again, but I don't want to end up being responsible for you burning down a building or killing a civilian."

"Oh, Pine Tree, I would never do such a thing." Dipper took his eyes off the road long enough to stare at Bill with a raised eyebrow and look that said: _Really? Somehow I refuse to believe you._ "Why would care anyway?" Bill added after Dipper was back to focusing on the road.

"I wouldn't, I just don't want to get dragged into your demonic rituals. I want to send you back to where you came from and make sure you stay there. Forever."

"And to think I considered you the smart one! Didn't you hear? I can't go back to being a demon, and I don't see why you would want that anyway. You see, I can do whatever I please under my demonic form, but I'm restrained under this one. Trust me, kid, you want me to stay in this puny body."

"Can't you just stay in your demon realm or something? And why do you sound like you enjoy this situation?" Dipper raised his tone without noticing. Bill's words didn't make any sense. _Why would he want to stay under this form? Unless…_ "You've a got a plan, haven't you? You already have a way back and you're just waiting to get what you want!"

"Wow kid, do I look like a guy with a plan? I barely know how to get dressed without pulling my underwear in my zipper, and if you remember, I didn't foresee the result of our little spell. Also, the demon realm doesn't work that way. You're not born there, you get transferred. And then you're free to cause as much mayhem and chaos as you fucking please. Until another demon kills you, or some piece of shit like your great-uncle eliminates you from the material plane and reduces you to a single mindscape!" Bill said all this in one intense breath and was now panting slightly. "So, I don't know what can be done; and your miserably weak human form definitely cannot send me back to the demon realm under any circumstance."

"What are you guys fighting about? You already sound like a married couple." said a sleepy Mabel from the backseat.

"Nothing. We're just talking about sleeping arrangements." Dipper almost chocked on air at Mabel's last comment but he shot Bill a determined glare and the shorter man seemed to get the message as he replied.

"So does that mean I can sleep in your bed?" Mabel laughed, holding her sides. She was still lying over the entire seat, the middle seatbelt around her waist.

"Absolutely not. You're sleeping on the couch. It's comfortable enough, and you should be glad I'm letting you share my apartment, my bathroom and my food." Bill crossed his arms over his chest and pretended to be mad. There was silence for a few minutes until Mabel was back to a seating position.

"So, who wants to play a game?" Bill jumped at the word and violently turned to face the back of the car.

"Yes! I love games! What should we play?"

"I was thinking we could do a guessing game, like I'm thinking of something and you have to ask me questions about it, but I can only answer with yes or no."

"That sounds boring. In my time, we would tear apart a rat's limb and have a bet on how long it would be able to survive without it."

"One, that's disgusting; two, we don't have a rat and even if we did, ewww. Okay, I think I've got one."

"Is it a rat?"

"No."

"Is it a unicorn?" Dipper asked.

"No, and that can't always be your first question. Come on, ask more general stuff."

They played for another five minutes until Dipper got it right. They took turns and eventually they all got to have a go. By then they were more than halfway done with the trip to Dipper's apartment and the sun was starting to set. They had left their family home much later than expected and Mabel would have to arrive quite late, but it was worth it in the end. They stopped at a fast food on their last two hour run and finally made it to Dipper's place. Mabel took the wheel as her brother got his bags out of the trunk. Bill was still dressed in Dipper's clothes and he figured they would have to take a trip to a mall at some point in the near future. He was not looking forward to it.

They waved goodbye to the brunette who honked loudly before taking the road again. The two men reached the apartment without a word and as soon as he got inside Dipper felt the need to crash on his bed. He got some sheets from his closet and threw them to Bill, murmuring a 'good night' before doing what his whole body screamed to do. The door was closed and at this moment he did not give a single fuck as to what Bill might do.


	20. Back to School

Dipper's alarm blared early the next morning and the brunet reached for his phone with half closed eyelids. However, what his hand did touch was not his phone. It was soft and kind of warm and Dipper could swear it was making a slightly annoyed humming sound. Shooting his eyes open, he saw that what he had been feeling was the bare skin of Bill's chest and he retracted so far on his bed that the back of his head hit the wall with a loud thud.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Didn't I tell you to sleep on the couch?" Despite his best efforts to sound articulate, his angry and surprised yell only came out as a slightly audible mumble. Clearing his throat and realizing his alarm was still blasting, Dipper reiterated. "Bill, you are not supposed to be here. What the fuck happened?"

Bill stirred in the bed, dragging the sheets unto his half naked body.

"Turn it off." He grumbled, ignoring Dipper's consternation completely. Dipper reached over Bill's body and finally turned his alarm off. Reminded of why he had installed it in the first place, he rushed to the bathroom and started getting ready for class. He usually only set alarms 30 minutes before he had to walk out the door, and ten minutes had already passed. Brushing his teeth with one hand while trying to smooth over his hair with the other; Dipper momentarily forgot about the shirtless problem in his bed. He was unfortunately reminded when he entered his room to get dressed.

Bill was still sleeping, or at least looked like he was, so Dipper just grabbed a clean shirt to switch with the one he was still wearing from yesterday. Glancing at his watch, he realized he was not as late as originally thought and so he crouched down next to his bed and poked Bill awake.

"Whaaayouwan?" Bill said, probably meaning to say 'what do you want?'

"I told you to sleep on the couch. I even gave you sheets and everything; so why are you in my bed?"

No answer came from the other man, so Dipper started poking him again.

"You can't just sleep in other people's beds! Especially if I'm already in it!"

"Cool your jets, man."

"What the hell? You're the one in my bed, I'm allowed to be pissed. I'm going to be late because of you, asshole." Bill didn't answer, so Dipper just ripped the blanket off him. "Answer me and you'll get it back."

"Why are you being such a dick? I just didn't want to sleep on the couch, okay? It's cold and hard, also I don't know what to do with the sheets you gave me so I improvised."

"You could have just woken me up and I would have helped you." _What a hypocrite, you wouldn't have lifted a finger last night, you were exhausted. Besides, since when are you helping Bill?_

"Yeah, trust me I tried, but you were snoring pretty bad so I figured I would just sleep with you. Now give back the comforter, I'm cold." Bill whined, extending an arm lazily over his head in an attempt to grab the blanket. Dipper dropped it on top of him, and Bill yelped.

"I do not snore, and just because I was sleeping didn't mean you could hop into my bed. It's a twin for god's sake, it's meant for one person." Dipper rubbed his tired eyes and added with a sigh. "We'll make you a bed on the couch tonight, but I'm warning you. If I see you sleeping in my bed ever again, I will kill you."

"That's a pretty empty threat, knowing what you're capable of. But I'll take it; it's your place after all." With that, Bill's face turned towards the pillow and he went back to sleep. Dipper threw his notebooks and laptop in his backpack, grabbed a protein bar from the kitchen and set out for his class. He was only five minutes behind schedule so he would have to skip getting coffee until the class after that. As he entered the lecture hall and let out the biggest yawn possible, he realized this was going to be a long day.

Instead of listening attentively in class like he said he would do in the beginning of the semester, Dipper's thoughts couldn't help but wonder to how Bill had seemed that morning. Sure the demon still had no respect for human decency or even the slightest idea of how human things worked in general; but he had seemed overly compliant this morning. When he had poked him, Dipper had expected a protest, a hit of his own, but Bill had just stayed lifeless on the mattress. He hadn't even insulted him that much. Come to think of it, he even seemed like a normal human being.

 _It's probably part of his plan to trick you into helping him. He plays nice until you do what he says._ Somehow, Dipper knew this couldn't be it. It truly felt like Bill just didn't want to sleep alone. After all, he had shared a mind and then a room with Dipper over the last months, so it kind of made sense to want to keep that human interaction. _But he hates humans, why would he deliberately want to spend time with one?_ Bill could very possibly be playing him, but at least he won't be sleeping with Dipper after tonight. The brunet was also slightly worried about how the demon had managed to sneak into his bed and sleep there for most of the night without Dipper even noticing.

His train of thought was interrupted and the class ended. Dipper still had another hour until his next one so he walked as fast as his exhausted body would carry him to the nearest coffee shop and bought his usual drink, with an added shot of expresso for good measure. Drinking the burning liquid, he looked out of the window and saw Max walking half consciously on the sidewalk. Tapping the glass and making a large gesture, he caught his friend's attention and Max entered the shop.

"Hey, how are you doing? Did you catch up on sleep over the last week?" Max asked, taking a seat in the chair opposing Dipper.

"Not enough, but then again, it never feels like I've slept enough." Max chuckled, nodding in agreement.

"I'm going to get my morning coffee; though I'm so pumped I probably should take a decaf." Max grabbed his wallet and left his bags with Dipper to join the line that was starting to thicken with students. Dipper had planned to sleep ten hours a night or more during break, but things had gotten in the way and he was now even more tired than before vacation. But, he couldn't exactly tell the reason for the dark bags under his eyes to Max, now could he? His friend returned with an iced Latte and started chatting about their holiday.

"Yeah, I went back to my family. My sisters were really happy to see me, but on the second day it was back to constant bickering and stealing of clothes and personal stuff." Dipper smiled at that, thankful he only had to deal with one sister where Max had gotten five younger ones. "Did your sister give you a hard time too?"

"Not really, but some shit happened and I didn't get much sleep because of it." Dipper took a large gulp from his coffee, burning his taste buds and throat. He hoped Max wouldn't probe him on the subject, but his friend seemed to let it go quite easily.

They talked for thirty minutes before Dipper had to rush to class again. The rest of his day would have been rather uneventful, had it not been for the random thoughts of Bill and his absence in his mind that plagued him. He came back home to find all the lights turned off except for the one in his room. Grunting, Dipper went to yell at Bill and ask him what the hell he thought he was doing. The demon was sitting on Dipper's bed, looking through one of the last library books Dipper had gotten in his research about Bill. He looked focused on the text and didn't seem to notice the man walking in.

"Have you been going over those again all day? Don't you already know all that information?" Bill looked up from the book and rolled his eyes.

"Obviously your extremely incapable brain did not think that maybe there was information we missed. Not that I would omit looking over anything, but somehow we fucked up the spell and the answer as to why is probably in here." Bill went back to perusing the album, ignoring Dipper. The brunet's worry over the other's behavior that morning faded away. It seemed that Bill was back to his arrogant and obnoxious self. Dipper dropped his backpack next to his desk and decided to get some diner in the kitchen as his stomach growled.

"Make food for me too, I haven't had anything since your parents' place and I think this body isn't taking it well. It hurts. I tried to punch it away, but that only made it worse." Dipper chuckled at Bill's desperate attempt to cure hunger.

"If you want food, come to the kitchen with me so I can teach you how to do it."

"No, I'm reading this important information. There must be something here that could explain our situation, other than your incompetence that is."

"Fine, but I'm teaching you how to cook the basics tomorrow." Dipper replied, too tired to argue with Bill. Somehow he was glad the demon wasn't much of a nuisance for now, so he would have to accept making diner for the two of them at least tonight.


	21. Maybe This Could Work

Dipper showed Bill how to make his bed on the couch that night. It wasn't one of those extendable ones so he had just given Bill his extra comforter his father had thought he would need, and a pillow. The whole setup wasn't anything fancy but at least Bill would be able to leave him alone in the time being.

Dipper went to bed alone that night, and while he was pretty tired, his mind apparently still had more to think and so he stayed up for quite some time. He thought about how focused Bill had seemed to read the library book, looking slightly desperate to get his demon body back. If Dipper was honest, he knew that Bill under a human form was less harmful than one with his full powers and capabilities, but somehow he had grown so used to Bill as a demon that having him in this form pulled him out of his comfort zone.

 _Maybe Bill will find a plan to get rid of this body. What will he do then?_ Dipper couldn't help but think that he was just a pawn in Bill's scheme, just another tool he could use to any means necessary. He wondered if Bill would discard him once he got his powers back, or would he keep him around as a pet, as sick as that may sound.

However, a part of him felt that Bill would never find an answer in any of those books and they'll just be stuck forever or until they separated. _Gosh, this feels like we're a married couple now._ Dipper shuddered at the thought. He really hoped Bill would leave him soon enough. He had enough on his plate already with all his classes taking a turn for the worst this time of year and he didn't want to add the worry of taking care of a demon that had the skillset of a child on top of it.

Dipper eventually fell asleep in the early hours of the morning, regretting his overthinking mind the second his alarm rang the same day. _The sun isn't even up, this is just plain torture!_ He reluctantly got out of bed and into the cold of his bedroom. Bypassing Bill who was still sleeping soundly on the couch, he went to the kitchen to make himself a bowl of cereal. As he ate, he observed Bill's rising and falling chest, so peaceful for such a chaotic being. His brown hair was spread on the pillow, a color Dipper never thought he would see on Bill's human body. He had supposed that Bill would at least have blond hair, but there was nothing about the man in front of him that reminded him of the yellow fonts of the demon's evil form.

That didn't mean that Bill wasn't attractive however. While his body was slightly smaller than Dipper and not particularly muscular, he was still lean and well built. His tanned back supported broad shoulders and Dipper could glimpse defined abs due to the comforter being pushed to Bill's waist. He was lying on his back, his mouth open and one arm raised above his head revealing a black tuft of hair. After a few seconds of shamelessly observing his new roommate's almost naked body, Dipper's cheeks flushed and he turned back to his cereal. _I did not just look at Bill's body while he was sleeping, nope, did not happen,_ Dipper tried to convince himself, but he knew the battle was already lost.

He gulfed down his breakfast as fast as could and continued getting ready for class. Bill still hadn't awakened when he left, so he stuck a note on the fridge telling him where the food was. He almost added 'do not worry, I'll be back around 6' when he realized Bill would definitely not give a shit about Dipper's whereabouts. He locked the door behind him and went to the nearest coffee shop to grab a cup before class.

When he came home that night, Bill was sitting on the couch in the dark. He didn't seem to be doing anything other than a staring contest with the opposite wall.

"Are you okay?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah, why do you care?" _Okay, I can see where I'm not wanted._

Dipper went to drop his bag in his room and then walked to the kitchen. He was starving because he hadn't had time for more than just chips for lunch. He pulled the fridge open and saw that Bill hadn't eaten the leftovers that were for his lunch. Shrugging his shoulders, he grabbed it and turned to Bill in the living room.

"You didn't have lunch?"

"It was cold, and let me remind your ignorant grey matter that I still do not know how to use the machines in your kitchen." Dipper sighed. Mabel and he had tried to explain to Bill how a microwave worked, but he only managed to get the hang of the one at home at the end of their trip, and the one in Dipper's apartment was a different model which Bill apparently didn't know how to use.

"Come here, I'll show you how it works. I don't want you to start complaining that I'm not feeding you."

"But you are not feeding me, Pine Tree." Bill chuckled, his grin twisted in a strange way. He nevertheless got up and joined Dipper in the kitchen.

"So, you take the lid off the container, then you open the door and you put it in and close it." Dipper demonstrated as he told Bill what he needed to do to use the microwave. "Then you press the start button if you only need 30 seconds, and every time you press it it adds 30 seconds. Most things you want to heat up for about a whole minute, so you either press start twice or you push the 1 button once." Bill looked at Dipper quizzically and then to the machine. He pressed on the 1 in a quick motion and almost jumped back when the microwave jolted to life. "See, now you get the hang of it. That's all you'll need to do most of the time. If it's cold after that, you just stick it back in for another 30 second or something." Dipper went to the cupboard to take out his half empty box of pasta.

"You can eat the leftovers tonight, but I'll also show you how to cook the easiest human meal: pasta." Dipper grabbed a pot and filled it with water, describing his actions to Bill at the same time even though the other's focus was still on the microwave which hadn't finished its whole heating process. When it was done, Bill took it out and almost dropped the container.

"Holy fuck this is hot! Why didn't you warn me?" Dipper repressed a chuckle and continued preparing his pasta.

"I thought you had learned that from your experience at my parents' house. Now come here and help me with this." Dipper showed Bill how to put olive oil and salt in the water so the pasta wouldn't stick, how to stir every once in a while, and how to turn off the stove when the food was ready. He drained the pasta and asked Bill if he had understood what just went down.

"Yeah, you put water, oil and salt, then when there's bubbles you put the yellow dry thing, and then you wait for the time on the package, yadda yadda yadda. I think I got it, I'm not an idiot kid."

"Well, I don't want you burning the whole apartment because you forgot to turn off the stove. If there's one thing you should never forget from today is 'never leave the stove on'. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yeah yeah, but I don't see why I can't have a bit of fun and burn a couple of your belongings at the same time. You can't possibly need every single thing in this apartment." Dipper sighed and poured his pasta into a bowl and added tomato sauce.

"Let's eat now, I'm starving." Both went to the table that was between the living room and the kitchen.

They ate in silence, Bill moving his food around as if trying to observe it under every angle. Soon they were done and just sat there.

"Soooo, did you find answers in your reading so far?"

"Nothing. There is nothing in the book we used and I doubt there's anything in the others either. I guess I'm stuck in this form until the end of this body's natural life." Bill leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his head. _He seems to be taking this well for a demon who hates humans of every shape and size._ Dipper's rationality nagged at the back of his mind, reminding him that this all could still be a trap and he had to be cautious. But somehow, he couldn't bring himself to give too much attention to that thought as it looked like Bill wasn't going to be as much of a pain in the ass as he would have thought. _Maybe I shouldn't worry so much and just enjoy that this is going to be easier than expected._

The voice at the back of his mind dimmed until it was nothing short of a whisper.


	22. Another Being's Company

The next week and a half went by so smoothly Dipper barely had the time to realize Halloween was right around the corner. It had been a while since he's done something more than watch horror movies and eat popcorn on that holiday, but as soon as Bill realized it was coming up it was inescapable that they went to a party. The demon tried to convince him with whatever it took, and eventually Dipper gave in.

He had grown used to living with a humanized ex-demon by now, and they even had their own routines. Dipper would make breakfast and Bill dinner; they would watch movies together now and again, and Bill helped Dipper with his school work since he knew most of the material better than the professors themselves. Dipper was almost glad to come back every night to a slightly under or over cooked meal and the company of another human being, even if it was Bill Cipher.

Bill, on the other hand, had finally learned how to operate like an almost normal human being; and though he never left the apartment, to Dipper's knowledge, he seemed to use this time to clean and watch TV, which wasn't as destructive as some of his previous hobbies. It also looked like he appreciated Dipper's company because he spent most of the brunet's time home with him. He continued to sleep on the couch, not wanting to repeat the experience of being awakened by Dipper's sudden punches. One night, after watching a movie particularly late, Dipper fell asleep on the couch, and Bill had been too lazy to bring him back to his bed. While Dipper awoke with a start to find himself in an awkward cuddle with Bill, he couldn't deny enjoying the other's warmth. So they ended up sharing the couch or his bed a couple more times after long study nights or intense movie sessions, and neither really hated it. Younger Dipper might have argued that he was only keeper a closer watch on the devious being.

Mabel called a few times to make sure Dipper was okay and that Bill wasn't completely out of control, but she was pleased to see the two boys behaving so well with each other, maybe a little too well for her good conscience. Nevertheless she let them be, and Dipper was glad things were taking a turn for the better. That is, until that party on Halloween night.

"Oh come on Pine Tree, we have to go! It's the only night of the year where you can't stop me from scaring little kids to death because it's technically legal."

"First of all, it isn't legal at all; and second, why don't you want to just watch a movie with me?"

"Because we watch movies all the time so this wouldn't be any different, it would just be a horror movie which means you would be snuggling up to me about 20 minutes in and I would be forced to reassure you that false mummies and werewolves can't get you at night."

"Don't you remember I spent every summer in Gravity Falls, with real monsters and creatures? I'm not easily scared."

"Says the guy who peed his pants when a bunch of gnomes attacked him." Dipper blushed and pushed Bill away.

"I was twelve, and it was my first supernatural creature. Plus that gnome monster was frightening and huge….Anyway, why do you even want to go to a party? Why not just go around scaring a bunch of kids?"

"That would be the best, but I'm not exactly scary under this form and as you so finely stated earlier, it isn't exactly legal if I accidentally kill them. A party is a much safer environment to have fun, and it even makes you uncomfortable which in turn makes me quite happy because seeing you squirm in social situations is hilarious."

"I'm going to ignore that last comment and be glad that you're willing to sacrifice your old hobbies for more socially acceptable ones." And that had been the end of that. Somehow, Bill had perceived that as a 'yes' and so Dipper found himself scouting thrift shops with Bill for costumes on Halloween day. They ended up settling for a Batman and Robin costume, Dipper having to settle for Robin as Bill thought only Batman had an ego big enough to fit his.

The party was one hosted by one of Brenda's friends. Dipper had marveled at the fact that he had been invited even though he had almost never talked to Brenda after that first party; but apparently people don't need to talk to each other very often to stay friends enough to get invites to parties. They arrived late, but the house was still pretty empty. Dipper recognized a few people in various costumes, varying from store-bought to careful crafted handmade ones. He was about to head toward Max in a nerd costume when Bill redirected his attention to the drinks table.

"Is that the alcohol?" Dipper nodded, trying to separate himself from Bill. "Let's go drink some!" Bill jumped enthusiastically to the table and soon enough Dipper found a red cup sitting in his hand. The reddish liquid inside of it could only mean it was jungle juice, which he still managed to avoid during parties. Bill was already done with his cup and was encouraging him to drink his. So he did, surprised by the sugary taste and apparent lack of a burn associated with alcohol. He finished it and as Bill went to refill their cups he was able to reach Max with Bill in tow.

"Hey, Dipper! Didn't you say you were staying in to watch horror movies?"

"I was going to but this asshole wanted to go to the party and I couldn't exactly let him get here alone since he wasn't invited." Dipper pointed to Bill, having already talked about the demon to Max earlier in the month. He had let Bill's name slip one day and had had to explain who he was, sticking with the safe story he had told his parents. Max acknowledged him with a nod and pointed to the game of beer pong that was going on in the center of the room.

"Want to join? I think I might be terrible at it but who knows, maybe we'll be decent together?"

"I'm not really in the mood for that, plus I might even be worse than you think. I'll pass." Dipper took a sip of jungle juice while Bill drank his straight before putting his arms around Max like they'd been buddies for ages.

"Pine Tree here might be boring enough to pass on such an occasion, but I'm not!" Max's face lit up and he sent Dipper a questioning look.

"Looks like you found a partner after all. Have fun!" Dipper sent one look he hoped to be menacing towards Bill before heading for an empty corner of the living room. Bill might be an ex-demon, but he could handle a game of beer pong, right?

Sipping his cup alone, Dipper began to lose himself in his thoughts. That is, until a familiar face crept up in his vision and he almost jumped out of surprise.

"Hey Dipper, how are you doing? Long time no see!" It took a second for Dipper's brain to identify the cute black haired girl in the Hit-girl costume as Emily.

"Hey, I'm tired but fine I guess. How are you?"

"I'm good, I'm good. Totally dig your costume by the way, very adorable." Dipper made a mental note to never tell this to Bill as the demon would probably make fun of him for days about it.

"Thanks, not exactly what I was going for but thanks. I'm with a friend dressed as Batman if that makes it a little less lame." Dipper pointed to Bill who was now playing horribly with Max. Emily's gaze followed his and she giggled as Bill made a particularly unnecessary jump to throw the ball into one of the cups.

"He's an odd ball, isn't he?"

"I guess you could say that." Dipper took a sip of his cup as a comfortable silence set in between them. It had been a while since he's talked to Emily, since before midterms actually, but he felt as much at ease with her as he was with Max. They continued to drink their poisons in silence, sharing glances and observing the party around them. Once Emily was done she pointed to her empty cup; Dipper nodded in understanding and she left to the drinks table to refill it. He looked around for a sign of Bill or Max but neither was to be found. _Oh well, Bill is a grown adult now he can make his own choices._ Emily came back and started a new conversation.

"So how did you survive your midterms? I swear they get harder every semester even though I keep on believing that I'm used to it by now."

"It wasn't so bad. Well I mean I didn't sleep or eat much and my body was like 80% caffeine at one point but I didn't die." Dipper clarified after Emily shot him an extremely worried look.

"That sounds about right. The worst is, there's enough time before finals for you to forget how terrible pulling an all-nighter feels like so you'll go into exams thinking you can have some time to procrastinate but in reality you won't." Dipper chuckled.

"Isn't admitting it one step closer to changing that behavior?"

"I wish, but I always start finals season by procrastinating and digging my own grave. It's a ritual of mine by now." Dipper laughed even harder and he could see Emily's lips crinkle into a smile.

"Well at least your ritual doesn't involve eating the equivalent of your weight in candy." Emily's smile turned into a crystal laugh.

"Who does that? That's super unhealthy!"

"My sister does it, and I seriously don't know how she's able to pull it off. I swear her body is 110% sugar by the end of the exam season." Dipper chuckled to Emily's heartfelt laugh. He noticed the way her dimples in her round cheeks showed and her eyes sparkled. She looked even cuter in her costume than in his memories of her and maybe it was the alcohol but Dipper had the sudden urge to kiss those round red lips of hers. As soon as the thought crossed his mind another part rejected it instantly, but the thought remained. What would her soft hair feel like between his fingers, her slim body against his and her bright lips…. Dipper mentally shook himself as Emily's face started showing concern.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just spacing out. Thinking about things." Dipper chucked the rest of his drink as a result of pretty terrible decision making.

"Very eloquent." They shared a look then burst into laughter a second later.

"Must be the alcohol, I don't usually drink this much."

"Yeah I remember how lost you seemed last time." Dipper chuckled again, pointing at his cup and receiving the appropriate nod. The jungle juice was halfway gone by now and the drinks table was covered in sticky spilled alcohol. Dipper refilled his cup and went back to Emily patiently waiting for him in the corner he had found. He couldn't help but wonder why she wouldn't hang around anyone else as she could just take a step to the left and strike a conversation; but he did admit that their private thing sent a rush of heat to his stomach.

"You think they'll kiss?" Emily said so deadpan that if Dipper had taken a sip the moment before he would now be doing a spit take.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Those two over there" she pointed to two girls leaning on the wall, one's hand on the other's waist, "you think they're going to kiss or is one of them going to abruptly declare their heterosexuality?" Dipper snorted out a laugh at Emily's serious look.

"Definitely going to kiss, they both look pretty gay." Emily snorted herself and put a hand on Dipper's arm as if to steady herself.

"What would you know about being gay?"

"Not much, since I'm just bisexual, but they definitely have that 'I'm going to eat your face in about five seconds' look." Emily was now almost leaning on Dipper, her face crinkling in laughter.

"Does anyone else in this room have this look?" She asked once her breathing had calmed down. Dipper felt his face turn bright red as he hurriedly looked over the room, lost for words. Emily thankfully shortened his torture by taking another step forward and asking with half-lidded eyes "Do I have this look?"

She leaned forward and Dipper felt his body unconsciously do the same as his eyes closed. _Was this really happening?_ He did not have time to ponder this for long as suddenly his body was pushed backwards against the wall and lips found their way to his. The kiss was rough and short but rather intense. Dipper raised his hands to grab the other's neck but they pulled away, and he slowly opened his eyes.

To his great shock the person in front of him was taller and had darker skin than Emily. Dipper's eyes flew open as his brain registered he was standing in front of an ex-demon dressed at batman. Bill turned around to face a completely shocked Emily and said in slightly slurred speech:

"Sorry, doll. He's mine."


	23. Do and Dye

_Hey, I know it's been forever but I just recently got back to writing more regularly and I hope I can keep this up. I'm not too happy with this chapter but I wanted to put it up anyway because the story needs to move forward._

 _Warning: smut at the beginning at the chapter until ***_

Dipper's ragged breaths were echoed by Bill's own, their mouths hanging open as their bodies responded to each other. Dipper slightly opened his eyes to stare at the blond pinned underneath him, his skin glowing in the dusk filtering through the windows. He lowered his body to push their lips together, a moan escaping his lips as Bill thrust his cock further up his ass, hitting his prostrate.

"Faster." Dipper moaned, shifting his body on top of Bill so that the blond's length filled him up entirely. The ex-demon grinned against his lips, teeth smooth and cold before they captured Dipper's bottom lip, earning another moan from the brunet. "Faster." Repeated Dipper, this time getting Bill's approval as the blond thrust harder into Dipper, both their bodies arching with pleasure. He knew he wouldn't last much longer, his own cock already dripping on Bill's naked chest.

Bill reversed the position, flipping Dipper unto his back and fucking him as if his life depended on it. Dipper's eyes closed as his body experienced a sensory overload and he came as Bill moaned his name repeatedly. Bill was still thrusting inside him as he came down from his orgasm. Dipper pushed himself up and let Bill clash their mouths together, moaning in unison. He could feel the tension of Bill's muscles as his hands traveled along the other's body until they groped his ass. Bill's back arched and he buried himself inside Dipper as he came, the two men falling entangled unto the bed. Their breaths evened themselves out as Bill rested his head onto Dipper's chest. Dipper felt his eyes close and then open suddenly.

He was in bed, the sun blinding him as it came through the uncovered windows. As his eyesight came back, he noticed three things. One, Bill was indeed in bed alongside him but two, they were both fully clothed. And three, he could see a small tent in his pants caused by a rather vicious morning wood. Using the rationality Dipper had always been proud of even though it didn't seem to work with Bill around, he came to the conclusion that recent events had just been a dream and Bill and him had actually not had sex.

Part of him was glad he hadn't sunk this low and made himself defenseless in front of a powerful ex-demon, the other part was now blushing wildly at the thought of having wet dreams about said ex-demon. He glanced at Bill rapidly to make sure he was still sleeping before escaping silently to the bathroom to shower. He took care of the problem between his legs before showering, finding his body stickier than expected. He tried to remember what could have happened the night before to make it so, but barely found any clues. He could remember talking to Emily for some time, but then memories get fuzzy. Somehow Bill and he ended up together in the same bed but he didn't know what had led to that. He hoped nothing embarrassing had happened, but considering the dream he just had he knew it couldn't be entirely innocent.

He finally got out of the shower after a couple of minutes, the mirror already fogged. He didn't want to go back to Bill just yet, so he lingered in the bathroom. Brushing his teeth, his hair, clipping his nails, shaving; he did everything he could possibly think of before heading out to his room with only a towel across his waist. Whatever attempts he made at stealthily heading for his room was thwarted by the sweet smells coming from the kitchen.

"Good morning Pine Tree! I woke up hungry as hell so I decided to make us breakfast. You're going to be the first witness to my grandiose culinary skills." Dipper stopped in his tracks and stared at the eerie vision of Bill in front of him. The ex-demon was clad in only an apron and boxer briefs. Dipper's gaze scanned his whole body before blushing violently and turning away at the sound of Bill's laughter. "Like what you see?"

Dipper mumbled something under his breath before heading to his room to change. "Did you say something?" Bill asked.

"Put some fucking clothes on!" Dipper yelled from the bedroom. _I swear that guy is going to be the death of me._ Suddenly Bill was standing in the doorway, hands on his hips in a very Mabel-like pose.

"I should tell you the same thing, you're even wearing less than I am!" Dipper glanced down at the pants he was trying to put on over his boxer.

"You're just wearing one apron more than me! Come on, we didn't spend time and money to buy you clothes so you could prance around my apartment almost butt naked."

"And I didn't make breakfast so you could eat it in your underpants. I'll get dressed when you grow out of that attitude and I'm completely sure the eggs won't burn." Bill went back to the kitchen and Dipper wondered for a split second if he was still dreaming. They hadn't been fighting recently but never had Bill treated him this decently. If this was Mabel, she would have wanted something in return but Dipper knew all Bill wanted was his old body back and Dipper couldn't provide that. He finally got dressed and joined Bill back in the kitchen.

One pan was still sizzling with sunny-side-up eggs while the other had several strips of bacon. Bill hummed a tune as he finished what he was doing and soon enough Dipper found himself sitting in front of a barely dressed ex-demon with the best breakfast he'd had in weeks begging to be eaten.

"You're welcome." Bill said.

"I didn't even say thank you."

"Yes I know, and it was quite rude of you so I took the liberty of acknowledging your need to say it for you and replied accordingly."

"You didn't get dressed."

"And you didn't thank me. I guess we're even now, let's dig in before it gets cold."

The eggs were just the right amount of cooked and runny yolks, and the bacon was the way Dipper liked it. They ate in silence for a while, until Bill finally announced what Dipper had been dreading for a few weeks now.

"So Pine Tree. Here's the deal. I searched every goddamn book I could from this place for a solution to my problem and found nothing. So after I make you do one last thing for me, I'm off."

"Off? Like you're just going to leave? Remember the last time you tried that?"

"I have learned a lot since then, kid. Plus I said I needed you for one last thing. I'm sad I won't have you close-by anymore." Dipper almost chocked on bacon.

"What?"

"Yeah, you were such a useful little pet. Showing me how this world worked and giving me everything I needed to dispose of you later on. It's too bad you won't be here next time I need someone to harass or emotionally manipulate or even run errands for me." Dipper opened his mouth but Bill was faster. "Speaking of which, I got one last thing for you to do."

"You've been using me all this time as a stepping stone to get your way around, don't think I'm going to help you now that I know you can do it yourself."

"Actually, I cannot do this by myself, that's why I need you to do it for me. You see, I'm quite fond of the yellow color of my triangle form but it would seem this human form decided to take the appearance of the human I was before, which doesn't have any gold accents! How can I trick people into giving me their gold if I don't look golden?"

"There's nothing we can do, human beings don't come in gold variations. We're not smart phones." Bill looked confused for a second but shook his head and resumed the conversation.

"I know that, my mental capacity is not as abysmal as yours. All I want is to dye my hair blond, which is as close to gold as I'm going to get."

"You could dye it gold." Dipper said, not believing this was the last thing Bill wanted from him.

"So it would seem, but I have done my research on your Internet and your species seems to think that artificial colors do not last as long on human hair. Ergo, I thought the longest lasting option would be to dye it blond so I wouldn't have to worry about it looking perfect every time because it won't be perfect since it won't be gold." Dipper finished off his plate, barely noticing how little sense Bill's argument made.

"Well, if you think you can live on your own, surely you can dye your hair on your own. I mean all it takes is hair dye."

"I'm sorry, but I will not be doing it myself. I can't imagine dirtying my own hands, especially if I have a human nearby which can be used for such a purpose."

"Look, if you think I'm going to do it for you, you're delusional. How are you even going to pay for it or even a place to stay after here?" Dipper almost regretted trying to understand what the ex-demon wanted to do. After all, this was great. It was what he had wanted all along, a chance for Bill to leave him be. He was powerless right now and probably would be forever. If he hadn't found a solution yet, it was unlikely he would find a solution later. So why did Dipper argue so much about letting Bill go?

"Mind your own business. So, how about it?"

"No way in hell."

"Oh come on! Are you seriously flinching at the thought of putting bleach on my hair? Pathetic."

"I don't care about the bleach. If you say you don't need my help anymore, then I'm done helping you. Go get it done at a salon for all I care!" Dipper carried his dishes to the sink. "And for the love of God, put some fucking clothes on."

With that, he went to the living room, giving Bill the chance to change in his room. Time had passed so fast, he hadn't realized it had been almost a month since Bill had taken human form. Obviously he was ready to face the outside world. And he probably got the money from all the gold he managed to grab from people as a demon. Dipper wasn't worried for him as much as he was worried about everyone else. The little part of himself that still held on to reason wanted desperately for Bill to stay under his surveillance, but the rest truly didn't care what the ex-demon did to the world since it believed he could not do much.

Bill eventually changed back into regular clothes and came back to the living room to beg Dipper again to agree to his delirious plan. It took about thirty more minutes of bargaining and complaining, which Dipper swore he had picked up from Mabel, for Dipper to finally give up and go buy the dye with him. The trip took them over an hour because Bill wasn't sure which shade of blonde to choose from and he was banned from two establishments for scaring people away. Dipper argued he wouldn't last a second on his own if he acted that way, but Bill proved otherwise by finally buying the dye and showing that he always got what he wanted, even if it took extra twists and turns. Dipper wasn't sure what to make of that concept but he was starting to be glad the ex-demon was getting out of his life.

They were halfway through dying his hair when Bill decided to start blabbing about the previous night.

"Hey Pine Tree, remember what happened last night?" Dipper held the dye bottle up in midair in confusion. "You don't, do you? Were you really that plastered? Geez kid, you could have eased up on the jungle juice a bit."

"Why, what happened last night? Did you conquer yet another population? Or maybe you set a whole shopping center on fire and I don't remember because you made me drink until I blacked out?"

"That's pedestrian, Pine Tree. You should know me; I would never get you drunk on purpose. I might take advantage of the situation however, especially if a certain little raven haired girl was inching a little too close to my possession." Suddenly the memories rushed into Dipper's brain, and he effectively dropped the dye bottle. "Hey, watch it!" Bill shouted.

The previous night. The party. He had drunk way too much and then talked to Emily. He was drunk and she was drunk and they were talking about kissing and he remembers her leaning forward and his eyes closing and-

"What the fuck Bill! Why did you make me remember that?"

"Aw, you thought I was going to let you forget that little kiss? Are you ashamed because you liked it, or because I hold my liquor better than you apparently? Come on, admit it, I'm a great kisser."

"Why did you do that? I …Emily… why the hell?"

"I told you, she was too close to you for comfort and I had to reaffirm my position over her."

"Your position? Too close? What the fuck are you even talking about? Did you suddenly imagine that because we were living together, we were dating?" Bill erupted into laughter.

"Why the hell would I think that? No, it's much simpler actually. You're my human, you and that twin sister of yours. It's not like I care, you're more of a possession than anything."

"A possession? I'm not an object, I never agreed to this."

"Oh but you did, when you created that spell of yours. Well, that actually just made you linked to me in a very complex way, but I like to see it as ownership. Makes it easier and much simpler for me."

"Well I'm not your toy to play with. Stay out of my love life."

"I intend to, that's why I'm leaving. I may be a great kisser, but you're terrible. I won't be doing that again, even if the way it messes with your head is absolutely fucking exhilarating."

"Then you can dye your own fucking hair." Dipper started to remove the gloves when Bill spoke up in the charismatic yet excruciating way he knew.

"Come on, Pine Tree. Just this one thing and I'm out of your hair for good. Isn't it great that at least now there's no secret between us? I see why humans love telling the truth so much, it's a great way to ruin any kind of relationship." Dipper ignored that last comment and picked up the dye bottle.

"I'm finishing this because I don't trust you enough to do it yourself without complaining about the end result for days, but on one condition."

"Which is?"

"You shut the hell up until you leave, and you leave right after your hair is done. I'm done with your bullshit and crazy attitude. I want some peace and quiet."

"Fine." Bill turned around with a raised hand ready for a handshake. "Want to make a deal?" Dipper recoiled at the familiar phrase and gesture but shook the hand anyway, knowing it wouldn't be a magic binding deal. Or at least he hoped.

He finished dying Bill's hair which ended up being a darker shade than the one shown on the box. Bill showed his disappointment silently any way he knew how by kicking furniture over and furiously shoving all of his few belongings into a bag before leaving Dipper alone in the darkening apartment as dusk settled on the horizon.

 _Finally some fucking peace and quiet._


End file.
